But enough about that, because this last weekend she graduated from graduate school, and next week she starts her new job, so before I go any further with what I have to say let us take a minute to reflect and congratulate my best friend Alyssa Ashley........Okay moment's over. So we were talking having one of our deep talks. I was forgoing my lunchtime nap to do so by the way. And after discussing a scenario that I wish not to discuss any further, with the exception of this one word...CUNT. I stumble upon a term that I would like to discuss in slight detail right now. Emotional Masturbation
Now you might be asking yourself right now what is emotional masturbation. That's a good question and I will surely get to all of that. I guess it's hard for me to describe emotional masturbation without talking about just good old regular masturbation. I know, I know, this blog will probably cross whatever line I have set up in the first place, but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
Masturbation is great, I will say right here and now that I am a huge fan of it. some of life's biggest questions I have been able to go into a quiet room and jerk the answers right out of them. But really and truly in all seriousness it is this totally physical and raw and self fulfilling thing that people do in the privacy of their own homes. And as far as I know men do it so much more than women. I think this is the case because there is a very primal and animalistic feel about the whole process which I will not get into right now.
Are you still with me? Have you made it through all of that? Because if you have this is the stuff that I really wanted to talk about. EMOTIONAL MASTURBATION, now the thing about this is that this is not a singular act. It takes two to tango in this one. This is the process by which someone gets someone else to get them off because they are feeling down and out. This is the classic I don't feel good about myself so let me get somebody else to boost my confidence and get me off.
It is my grand experience that women are by far the biggest culprits of Emotional Masturbation. And right here and now I'm going to say that it its sickening to me. I mean really show enough fortitude to get yourself off. Why must you always call somebody, text somebody, or do whatever you do to get the validation or the orgasm that you need. (yes I'm going on a tangent about my own personal experiences and I don't mean to throw all women under the bus, but lets face it one rotten apple can spoil the whole bunch. And that is basically what she has done.)
I am not here to get you off because you are having a bad day, or bad week, or whatever the fuck is happening to you. Please figure it out yourself. I'm not your personal verbal pleasure stick that you can call on to say all the right things to you because of whatever reason, and then tomorrow you feel dirty about the whole exchange and say that you made a mistake. For fuck's sake grow a pair and deal with it yourself. Or at least do what any decent self respecting person would do inside of going out and being Emotional Masturbated, go out and get fucked. Literally. By whomever, the guy that is Emotional Masturbating you are a complete stranger or your significant other. Whatever the case may be at least if you are gonna use somebody to make you feel good about yourself do the decent thing and make them feel something other than a slap in the face.
This all makes absolutely no sense with no context, and the thing is you aren't going to get it, not from me. If you were offended by any of this I'm sorry, I'm not sorry. You just got a little glimpse inside the mind of me. Pretty scary stuff.
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