Well it's been a few days since I've been able to get on here and write something down, so I decided that I couldn't let another day go by without writing something down about this Quest that I'm on. I know that it may all seem quite stupid or that I'm not taking things very seriously, but the truth of the matter is that it is actually quite the opposite.
This Quest for me halfway across the country has been the biggest endeavor of my young life. Only the real thing is that I don't really feel quite young at the moment. I feel more like an old soul really at the end of it all when really I am at the beginning. My spiritual Quest to the West has been quite cleansing for me in one way and very anxiety ridden in another way.
I wake up every morning in sunny California were the weather is always beautiful and I can't help but feel at peace. But then I look around at my surroundings as I am getting up on the couch of one of my best friends and I can't help but be a little paralyzed with fear. It's a crazy feeling taking this leap like I have. I don't really know what all is out there for me, expect for everything. And I guess that in and of itself can be somewhat of a frightening thing. All the possibilities right out here for me I just have to get a move on.
The crazy thing is that I'm just about an hour away from the beach right now, and I still haven't been yet. I know I will go soon, but at times for me it's hard to want to see or feel the joy of certain things in life, because I know and feel and am so aware of the weight of life itself. I have to be mindful of this situation and make sure that I don't miss out of all the beautiful things that this Quest has to offer me. Because there are so many things about this place that is just flat out beautiful.
There are also aspect of this thing that is greatly terrifying. I don't think I've ever been in a city quite like this one. It feels as though I am on a different planet sometimes being out here. I mean I've been to big cities before, New York and Chicago, but the truth of the matter is that they are nothing like this one. Sure it is a big city and it has that feel of all the hustle and bustle, but this is also not a vertical city and things around here are very spread out. And the people are just so chill and laid back. I have a long way to go to really get the hang of this thing, but I know that I will be able to.
It seems to me that life has it's own funny and unique way of working things out and somehow despite all odds and me resisting this for so long I have found myself just in the place that I always find myself dreaming and talking about. Trying to pursue something that I am always talking about but in a lot of ways was just to afraid to really pursue it.
I know that life will carry on from here and that this moment in time as compared to all it's other moments really isn't that big of a deal. I have friends that are entering the second phases of their lives and some are becoming parents and some of us are just now finding ourselves. I know that ten years from now this blogs and these writings that I'm doing now may just be a joke or a funny story that I tell at a dinner party, but right now this life and these words that I'm writing are the only things that I have to hang on to. They matter so much to me and if you are reading or have read any of the silly things that I have written in the past years I hope that they might matter to you.
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