GOING THE DISTANCE and MACHETE

Okay, so a few days ago I wrote up this long thing that was not necessarily a movie review. I did talk about a couple of movies and an actor from one of the movies but I did not really talk about the movies, so as promised here are a my movie reviews for GOING THE DISTANCE and MACHETE. I know you all out there on the world wide web are just so excited you can hardly stand it. The great thing about this review is that I went and saw both these movies back to back at the dollar movies so if you are reading this there is a good chance that both of these movie will be or already are out to rent, so you can read this and go right out and watch it and tell me what you think.

I'm going to jump right in with GOING THE DISTANCE, I think it's only far since I have seen the movie twice already that I jump all over this one first. THE WHO: Drew Barrymoore, Justin Long, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis, Christina Applegate, and Jim Gaffigan. There actually are a few other minor characters that have really great small roles throughout the movie and when you see some of them you will realize that you have seen them before.

THE WHAT: Justin Long and Drew Barrymoore's characters meet in a bar after hard days for each of them, have a one night stand, hit it off and begin dating. But there is a catch. Drew's character lives in California and is just interning for the summer and is about to move back. They fall for each other hard and begin a long distance relationship.

Let me just start off by saying that I love this movie. Now in full disclosure anybody that really knows me, knows that this movie is almost right up my alley. An adult romantic comedy, that is super funny but has these moments of great heart mixed in. When I say adult romantic comedy that is exactly what I mean. This movie is not for kids believe me, not to say that it is bad or just super vulgar, but it is just vulgar enough and all the material in the film is made for adults that have been in relationships.

One of the things that I liked most about this movie was the fact that it switch from the comedic moments to the serious ones very effortlessly. And there are enough of both of them throughout the movie to make you really feel like this story is about real people. I feel like the movie really does play true to life, because I feel like that is what life is. All of these great moments of laughter and mixed in are moments of seriousness and sadness. Justin Long's character and his two best friends played by Charlie Day or Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Jason Sudeikis of Saturday Night Live are pitch perfect in the movie. I love it so much because I feel during most of their conversations in the movie, it could have been me and my friends sitting around talking. So much so that in one scene in the movie they are at a diner talking about a "Fuck-it List" and I thought I was having deja vu, because me and my friends have had the exact same on
And then there are those moments in the movie that are meant to be serious and heartfelt and that is exactly how they feel. It has long been rumored that Long and Barrymoore have been in a relationship in real life, and after seeing this movie all I can say is that the rumors are true. These two play so well off each other that you just want them to be dating in real life. They both have such incredible timing together they really are what drives the movie. And when there relationship begins to sink because of the distance that they are apart from each other you really do feel for these two. Anybody out there that has ever been in a long distance relationship will enjoy the shit out of this movie, because you will feel nostalgic while watching it.

The thing that I perhaps like most about the movie is the fact that they didn't really jump right to that cookie cutter ending that we all know and some of us love so much. It really puts its heart out on the line and it forces these main characters to make some really tough decisions. And let me just tell you that the awkward phone sex scene and seeing Drew Barrymoore getting dragged out of a bar screaming, "Suck my dick!!" is worth the price of admission alone. So everybody, anybody run out and check this movie out.

MACHETE, also a great movie but for some many different reasons. THE WHO: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan, and Don Johnson. Let me just say that this cast delivers and in spades. Robert Rodriguez is the director and let me just tell you that I think that Rodriguez is a genius.

For those of you out there that don't know how this movie came about let me tell you. A few years back a movie by the name of GRINDHOUSE came out and it was totally under appreciated because quiet frankly, people don't know shit about movies. GRINDHOUSE was a double feature that played the Robert Rodriguez movie PLANET TERROR, and then it played Quentin Tarrentino's DEATH PROOF. Both of these movies are awesome and when put together wow. So before the movies and in the intermission they made these fake trailers to play and one of the best trailers what that of MACHETE. So good in fact that Rodriguez decided to go ahead and script a movie.

Now there is a basic story here, but to tell you the truth I'm not even going to bore you with it. All you need to know is that this movie is 100% pure BAD ASS. Danny Trejo plays the title character of MACHETE, and he basically for and hour and forty minutes just goes around kicking the shit out of people slicing people up and sometimes cutting off their heads with a machete, and yeah he bangs every hot chick in the movie. At one point making time to have a three way in the pool. None of the sex scenes are graphic, but the way people get killed are and it is awesome.

This movie never at all takes itself too seriously and really that is the beauty of the whole thing. It knows what it is suppose to be and that is exactly what it is. The crazy thing about it is that this movie dare I say out EXPENDABLES the EXPENDABLES. Having seen both movies now I can with out a doubt say that I like this movie better.

Everyone is this movie is great from start to finish, but if there is one reason that you need to go see this movie then go see it for Robert De Niro. Quiet possibly like you have never seen him before, and believe me he completely owns every scene that he is in. So if you don't have anything pressing to do this weekend and you don't want to see any of the newer movies that are out in the box offices, I highly recommend these two.

Until next time my friends, don't start nothin', won't be nothin'