This week has been a little trying for me. I guess like all of life there have been some peaks and valleys recently. Which to be honest is totally expected. I am on my way to being homeless and every since Cory's visit I have just felt a little down in the dumps. But whatever really, life goes on and people have much bigger problems than yours truly.
For some strange reason I have spent much of this past week thinking of my grandfather. It's weird but every once in a while I go through these periods where all of these memories of my grandfather come rushing back to me, and I spend much of a week or so thinking about him. Thinking about the time that I spent with him, and thinking about some of the stuff I never got to say to him.
No matter what I do when I'm thinking about him I always come to the point where I think to myself I wonder what he would think of me right now as the man I am today. Because of the person I am, I know that that question will be one that stays with me for the rest of my life. Because my grandfather is the standard for the type of man that I want to be in this world, so I will always question weather or not the man I am is a man that my grandfather would be proud of, or even friends with.
Anyway, the real reason I am writing this tonight is because I want to talk about courage. Something that I find myself lacking from time to time. And I think that everybody might feel this way from time to time. But when I think about courage a story comes to mind. And it's a story about my grandfather. It's one that my dad told me, probably at a time when I was nervous or scared about something. Because of course my father is the most cock sure person I think I've ever known in my life. And he knows that I am completely unsure of myself about 75 percent of the time.
So he told me this story, and when I think of my grandfather I always think of this story and I find the courage within myself to do whatever it is that I am struggling with. And I guess I just wanted to share it tonight, and maybe if you read this and you are struggling with being courageous you'll realize that there is no point in being afraid, because you never know where something might lead.
Growing up my grandfather was the oldest child. And being the oldest he had to find a way to help support the family so he joined the military. And as you can imagine the military wasn't the greatest of places for a black man. And he spent much of his time with the other black privates digging the latrines. And one day while on duty digging the latrines a CO came by and asked if any of the privates could type?
Everyone just stood there, but my grandfather had the courage to raise his hand. He knew absolutely nothing about typing, but he knew he didn't want to spend the rest of his life digging latrines. So he raised his hand and said that he could. He spent the next two weeks pecking away on a typewriter until one day his commanding officer came in and gave him his new orders. He was to go to typing school the next day because his commanding officer was going to kill himself if he had to listen to my grandfather pecking away on that typewriter anymore.
So he went to school, and he eventually went to college, and he rose in the ranks of the military becoming one of the top brass in the Air Force. My grandfather even spent time in Russia during the Cold War. That part of his life he never really talked about. He but my Uncle Henry through school who only became on of the most notable black men in academia in this country. He had a wife and a family and a life filled with so much love. And all because he had the courage to raise his hand.
Some of you out there may read this and think that that isn't much. That a single act of raising your hand isn't nothing to write home about or speak of. But I completely disagree. I think that single act shows more about him or any person than anything else. Because there are so many times in life were we are afraid to raise our hands so to speak, and it really takes more than you know to do just that.
My grandfather told my dad that story, and told him never to be afraid to stand up and try something, because you never know where it will lead you. And years later my dad told me that story and told me the same thing. And if I'm ever blessed with a son or daughter I will tell them that exact story. Because I believe in life there are times when we are all afraid of what is next or what's around the corner. You shouldn't be. Don't ever be afraid to raise your hand, because you might find that it takes you to some pretty amazing places.
for my grandfather: Frank Ponder Jr. I miss you all the time.
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