Our trip to Wal-Mart

So me and my sister went to wal-mart today which might have been the single most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me. To say that my sister is a special type of person is the biggest understatement that I could probably make. She is just bat shit crazy. Now the pre-cursor to us going on this shopping trip to wally world is that when she came home this last time she had just recently seen some lady on Oprah or some show that had used coupons in such a way that when the lady was done shopping she only had to pay 25 cents for like 200 dollars worth of groceries. So what my sister of course has to try some how to top this lady.

Now back to our trip to wal-mart. Now let's just say that the way that my sister shops is a little different, and by different I mean completely ridiculous. Now before I had entered college I never really went shopping, that's what my mom was for. But after my years of being on my own and higher education I pretty much have the shopping thing down to a science. Now of course at first I was pretty bad at it, but now when I go into wal-mart I really don't even need a list. I already mentally have it all in my head and I bounce from deli meats, to protein, to bread, on up the breakfast, then to chips and snacks, before heading back and grabbing my frozen veggies and fruit on the way out and the occasional stop back at deli for some wings. I'm in and out of that place so fast it would make your head spin.

This is not my sister's plan. She doesn't like to shop from front to back as she told me. She likes to start randomly in the middle, then head to the back and work her way up to the front. And when she misses something, which judging by our trip she most certainly does she has to retrace her steps because she has been working from the back of the store to the front. So inevitably a trip to wal-mart seems like a freaking eternity. But my friends that isn't even the worse part of this story.

Then there were the coupons. I always see those people in the store, but I've never actually been those people, that is until today. Because after the clerk has rang us up my sister pulls out the magic envelope that is stuffed full of coupons, and we have to go back as the lady now scans in the coupons that my sister has whipped out on her. And we go through them all and my sister does get a little bit of a discount, but the thing is the coupons she has, to get the discount it's like get 1 dollar off of coffee when you buy 3 boxes of cereal, or buy 5 bags of lays chips and get 1.50 off the sixth one. Which is completely crazy, but not for my sister because she food shops like there is going to be some kind of natural disaster and we won't be able to get back to the store. For instance right now in our freezer there are 12 individual digorno pizza for one.

But I must say that the only genius thing that she does is that she gets so much shit, that after it's all scanned through, and then she gives the coupons to the clerk, they don't even remember what they have scanned so when they ask her if she had x amount of certain products she says, "oh yeah of course I did." I mean what are they gonna do they don't give a shit, who would really.

But that whole trip to wal-mart blows up when I step back to pay for my portion of the groceries and she hands me some coupons, but a few of the coupons are not for the products that I have. They are for that brand of product, but they specify exactly what product you are suppose to use it for, and me seeing this decides not to use those particular coupons, and she is just totally beside herself. She keeps going on and on about how she's never taking me food shopping again and how it's really not lying if you are getting that brand, and how I should of just nutted up and used the coupons, so in a nut shell folks, this is my life please pray for me because I don't know if we are gonna make it.