Life

Somewhere there's a hand, a hand that should be used for giving pounds or shaking other hands, but instead it is holding a gun. Somewhere there's a man, a man that should be fixing the fence in his backyard or playing catch with his kids, but instead he is standing in front of that gun. Somewhere there's a phone, a phone that has somebody's family on the other end of it and should in fact be getting answered, but instead it just keeps ringing. And I can't help but ask myself why does the hand, the gun, the man, and the phone all have to be connected? But they are, so many times they are connected and I think maybe the world is worse off because of it. Because that hand that is holding that gun doesn't get a do over. And that phone that is ringing for that man has people depending on him on the other end of it. This is not my story, but it could be. It could be anybody's story, but it shouldn't be.

Gotta keep moving forward.... Down with the Gilmore Girls

First of all let me start off by saying this, I don't want to hear anybody's shit because I don't care. I know it is pretty homo, but this is me and I don't apologize for the things that I do I just do them because I like them. If there is anyone that has something to say by all means I'm all ears, but I'm going to continue doing the things that I do because hey I'm pretty happy and I am in fact pretty awesome. So with that said let me jump right into it.

So I was watching the Gilmore Girls tonight. (I don't want to hear it) I was watching the last few episodes of the series. Now why did I ever begin to watch this show I really have no idea. Well for the most part it was because of my sister. Which for some reason beyond me she just absolutely loves this show. And when she and my mom were first watching it I was all like good for you guys. A show for moms and daughters, that's just really cute. Then my sister was like you should watch it you'd like it. That was just the biggest mistake. For all of those out there that know me, or think that you know me, know this.... Do not tell me that I will like a show or a movie unless you are one hundred percent certain that I will. Because the thing with me is this, I watch a lot of movies and a lot of shows. This besides baseball is the thing that i am most passionate about and believe me I am just that. And if you do tell me that there is something that i will like, and I go out and watch it and don't, I will make sure to tell you all about it and exactly why I didn't like it.

So the more I started to watch this show the more annoyed I got with the entire set up of the show. To me it is just complete ridiculous on just about every level that there is and I think that it is just self indulgent crap to say the least. And believe me I could get into all the shit about the show that is completely ridiculous but really that is an entirely different blog all together. But the part I want to talk about is right at the end of the series. The part that I'm talking about for those of you who don't watch is the the Logan and Rory relationship. Rory is of course the main character and the show does it's best to put her in this relationship with this complete jack ass Logan, who comes from a very affluent family much like Rory, and the show does its best to make him into the man that all the viewers wanted him to be, and the show did a very good job of it. But right before the show was about to end they threw a little curve ball. Logan gets a job in San Francisco and ask Rory to marry him and move there with him, but she wants to be on the east coast, and she thinks she's too young so she turns him down, and their relationship ends just like that.

This to me was just ridiculous, and the only thing that was even remotely believable was his response to the whole thing by saying that he doesn't want to go backwards and ending the whole thing right then and there. And the thing about that whole situation is the fact that it happens all the time. People don't realize it when it's going on or even when it's over for that matter but it does. Relationships are always moving and evolving, and there is no point in just standing still. I feel that too often people are in a relationship and they believe that they are the only one that has a say so in it. They forget the fact that there is someone else that has put a lot of time and energy into things also and it's not okay to just say something and that be the end of it. I mean what exactly is the point in dating someone for three years if you aren't planning on taking that step. How can you be so close to someone, have even gone so far as to live with someone and then say this is too fast, we are too young, lets see if long distance can work. That's not how life works.

And then to make things worse the mom gives the good old convincing I think you did the right thing. Some day someone will ask you that question and you won't hesitate because it will be right. That is the biggest crock of bullshit I have ever heard. Some day may never come. People always want to think there is something better around the corner because it helps them not think about the fact that they just royally fucked up. But let me tell you there may not be anything better around the corner. That might just be as good as it gets. So what then? I have come to believe that there is in fact no day like today. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. And don't tell me that there is something better when a guy has changed everything that he was to make this girl happy, because believe guys don't generally do that. Sometimes you only get one shot at things and the choice you make just might be a bad one. So you just have to deal with it.

I guess the main reason that I have spent way too much time talking about this show is the fact that I think that people think they have all the time in the world to make all the mistakes in the world but you don't. You know, you get this one life and what you do and say to people it matters. It matters a lot. You don't get to restart and you damn sure don't get any take backs. You don't get to be thick as thieves with somebody one day, then tone it back and just be chill so to speak. You don't get to live with somebody and then go to maybe we can work out the long distance thing. You don't get to tell someone you love them and then act like nothing happened and that you can just be friends. People have to atone for the things that they do and say. It's just not cool. Because in the end you can't go backwards. I mean people try to do it all the time, but it never really works. Someone will always get there feeling hurt in the end. You have to keep moving forward, otherwise what was this time you spent building something really worth. Just think about it, and get back to me. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't really think so.

Piece of me

It's me and I'm back with another post, and all in the same week. I must say that I am kind of proud of myself. So you should all be proud of me too, after all you all do need this. I mean what else would you do if you couldn't read whatever stupid ass thing that I had to say. Have you ever had a day that when it's all said and done it could have been a really good day, but there was always something that was just lingering over the whole day. Because that is exactly how my day was. It's a strange feeling this day has been and to be honest I really don't know how to shake it. I mean today I got to see greatness. I was able to go watch Shutter Island. I mean the way that Mr. Martin Scoresse and Leonardo Dicaprio lay out this movie is something on the other side of amazing. I'm really not sure what's on the other side of it but if I had to guess it would be this movie. It's the type of movie that just shows what mastery of a craft looks like.

And even though I after watching this movie I just felt overwhelmed with love for movies there was just this thing that seemed to be lingering over my head. I don't really know exactly what this feeling is but the closest thing that I can liken it to is when I was coming to the realization that I was no longer going to be playing baseball. Because the thing is that there is this part of me that is really important and it has been apart of me for quite some time, but the thing is I have this overwhelming feeling that it to is coming to an end. And I guess there really is nothing like the ending of something. But really I feel like right now at this very moment I am outside of myself and I am watching the train wreck that is about to happen. And this train wreck that I am referring to is my life. I don't know how it all came to this. It's like one day things are all on the up and up and the next thing you know it's all snowballing downhill. Where did it all go, who knows really. I hope that this dark cloud that was lingering over this day is lifted because to be honest I really don't want to see the end of this particular part of my life, but I guess if it has to be done it's always better that it is sooner rather than later. When I look back on this day years from now I hope that the thing that I remember is the I saw the glorious Shutter Island, the movie that helped Leo win his first oscar, not that this was the day that I lost another part of me.

Step Back for a Second

Hi there boys and girls. I really haven't posted anything in a while and I almost feel like it's my duty to update you on the state of things. I guess things are like this, the sun came up today and it will most definitely go down tonight, and the world will keep spinning. So I guess the state of things are status quo. I guess I really don't have anything important to say, and that seems quite strange because most of the things I have to say are quite important.

I guess something that is a little knew is the fact that I have recently just finished shooting my second short. It really seems quite strange to me because on some small and microscopic level I think that maybe just maybe I am in the beginning stages of being a filmmaker. Now by no means do I think that what I am doing is some sort of great art or anything special, but it has been special to me and that's enough. It really is crazy the difference that six months makes. Because six months ago when I tried to shoot this exact short everything was going wrong and I really had absolutely no vision of how to make it all work, so after I was done with what little of it that I did do it was just a couple of random scenes.

Now here it is six months later and I really wanted to shoot this short so I went after it again with more extensive notes from all of the movies that I had watched over that time period and we were able to knock out the complete shooting in two days. Now with all of that said I haven't even sat down to think about starting the editing process so when all is said and done the whole project could be complete shit. But if it is it's my shit and I put all that I had into it. I guess the whole point of me writing about any of this is to say that sometimes you have to step back from a situation, no matter what it may be to really get a clear sight of what is going on. It won't hurt you to take some time to think about what is really going on, as a matter of a fact it just might change everything completely. Any way I'm officially off of my soap box. but to the two people that actually read this, look for: Paper, Rock, Scissors on facebook and youtube cause its coming very soon. And if you haven't checked it out look for ponder high kick.

Find your mountain

I think that every person should at some point in their life get on top of a mountain and scream as loud as they can. To howl at the moon so to speak. I guess some could say that I've been known to howl at the moon a time or two. I wish that everyone was able to sit on the top of their world and just feel and see how special that they really are. It's a great feeling to land on top of a mountain. People need that feeling. I think that the everyday mundane existence in which people seem to be so accustom to can sometimes be a little crushing on the old soul.. So they need something. Something that nobody else has so to speak. Something just for them that nobody else can have. I hope that all of you find your mountain, and I hope you are able to climb up atop of that mountain and scream at the top of your lungs. Cause really for me that's what it's all about. Find your mountain.