Dark Matter

I think deep down I always knew it would come to this. When you're a dreamer eventually you have to wake up right? Maybe not, maybe I'll stay in this trance, maybe I'll stay on or in this cloudless heaven. Maybe I'll be fine. You know maybe I'll just keep a little part of my brain empty for these dreams. Maybe I'll live in the now and do all the things that you have to do to be a productive person that somebody else can actually see something in. But somewhere right in the back of my head I'll keep my dreams alive. I don't want my fire to go out, I don't want that at all. But I can feel the light dimming, everyday I feel it dimming. And I'm fighting tooth and nail to stay a float. I'm in an ocean in my mind and there has been a storm kicking up for quiet sometime now. I don't have I life jacket, I've lost it somehow, I've lost my life jacket and all I can do know is keep kicking, keep treading, just keep my head above water for a little bit longer. I guess I always knew it would come to this, but I guess I just thought it wouldn't happen this soon. I guess I thought that at this point in my life I would be so totally inspired that I would be able to move mountains, but I'm not. I feel like everyday I become less inspired. I feel like I am beginning to look at people and see the worst in them, and I feel like it might be bringing out the worst in me. I feel dark, I feel empty, I feel alone.