Step Back for a Second

Hi there boys and girls. I really haven't posted anything in a while and I almost feel like it's my duty to update you on the state of things. I guess things are like this, the sun came up today and it will most definitely go down tonight, and the world will keep spinning. So I guess the state of things are status quo. I guess I really don't have anything important to say, and that seems quite strange because most of the things I have to say are quite important.

I guess something that is a little knew is the fact that I have recently just finished shooting my second short. It really seems quite strange to me because on some small and microscopic level I think that maybe just maybe I am in the beginning stages of being a filmmaker. Now by no means do I think that what I am doing is some sort of great art or anything special, but it has been special to me and that's enough. It really is crazy the difference that six months makes. Because six months ago when I tried to shoot this exact short everything was going wrong and I really had absolutely no vision of how to make it all work, so after I was done with what little of it that I did do it was just a couple of random scenes.

Now here it is six months later and I really wanted to shoot this short so I went after it again with more extensive notes from all of the movies that I had watched over that time period and we were able to knock out the complete shooting in two days. Now with all of that said I haven't even sat down to think about starting the editing process so when all is said and done the whole project could be complete shit. But if it is it's my shit and I put all that I had into it. I guess the whole point of me writing about any of this is to say that sometimes you have to step back from a situation, no matter what it may be to really get a clear sight of what is going on. It won't hurt you to take some time to think about what is really going on, as a matter of a fact it just might change everything completely. Any way I'm officially off of my soap box. but to the two people that actually read this, look for: Paper, Rock, Scissors on facebook and youtube cause its coming very soon. And if you haven't checked it out look for ponder high kick.

Find your mountain

I think that every person should at some point in their life get on top of a mountain and scream as loud as they can. To howl at the moon so to speak. I guess some could say that I've been known to howl at the moon a time or two. I wish that everyone was able to sit on the top of their world and just feel and see how special that they really are. It's a great feeling to land on top of a mountain. People need that feeling. I think that the everyday mundane existence in which people seem to be so accustom to can sometimes be a little crushing on the old soul.. So they need something. Something that nobody else has so to speak. Something just for them that nobody else can have. I hope that all of you find your mountain, and I hope you are able to climb up atop of that mountain and scream at the top of your lungs. Cause really for me that's what it's all about. Find your mountain.

Your Daily Dose

I had a thought just know, and me being the person that I am I just had to get on here and share it with everybody, and by everybody I mean the one or to poor pathetic souls that actually indulge me and read this... By the way, thank you. But the thought that I had in my head was this, whatever you're doing at this very minute, stop. Stop whatever it is that you are doing in your life right now at this second and take a deep breath... Have you done it yet? Now put in a good movie or a television series that you love to watch and watch it. Get lost in the reality of some make believe people for an hour or two. It will give you the time that you might need to re-adjust, or it will just give you an hour or two of entertainment. Believe me you need it. You need to stop every once in a while and breath, because the things that you think are so unbelievably important right now, may not be after watching Chasing Amy, or Good Will Hunting, or You Don't Mess with the Zohan. So that is my wonderful advice for today. I hope that you take it.

Wonder what the world with think of me?

When I'm dead, I wonder what the world will think of me? This is a question that troubles me most of the days of my life. And like most of the days this very day that question has been on my brain. I wonder what they will say when I'm gone. If anybody will say anything or if time will pass over me like dust in the wind. It kind of seems like a stupid thing to think about but to some extent that is all that I ever think about. I mean with so many people out there doing so many different things that mean so much to the world and to so many people, where exactly do I fit in? Or do I really even fit in? Or will I just become another former hippie current yuppie spoon feeding the masses the same old shit that everyone else has been. Will I become that person that had a great idea once but gave it all up because hey this is life I have to sacrifice that to have to picketed fence and the two car garage with the wife and kids living the life that someone else always wanted. Because I was too afraid to ever be anything other than ordinary.

But even so, do I actually even have a great idea in me, or is this all just bullshit that I am talking for no apparent reason. I think that just might be the case some days, but then other days I seem to be totally inspired by everything. I wonder if there will been even one person that feels about me the way that I feel about George Lucas or Kurt Vonnegut or Jackie Robinson when I die. Will I even leave a mark? Because if not what the hell was I put on this earth for anyway. I watched a movie once, and the hero in the movie said, "What man is a man that does not make the world better." I thought about the quote, and I think about it almost everyday. Because as it stands I don't know if I'm doing a damn bit of anything to make this world better, as a matter of fact I know that I'm not. And I struggle with that, because when I leave I want to have done something, anything to make this a better place.

I hope that I can. I hope that some day the enormity of everything that I have given or have tried to give all hits me, and I feel content with what I have done. I hope that at the end of this journey I'm not sitting around saying what if or that I should have done things differently. I realize that when it is all said and done I will probably look back and think to some extent I could have done this differently or maybe even that, but if that is the case I want to be completely used up. I want to be so used up that even if I wished that I could have done things differently I won't be able to because I have given everything that I have. Anyway, who am I really to have any of these thoughts. I'm an afterthought, I'm that funny story about that guy you knew in your twenties, I'm nobody...yet

New Years Resolution

It's that time of the year again boys and girls. Yes it is the new year and with it comes all sorts of empty and shallow promises on how this year is going to be so much different from the last, and then inevitably we end up right back here where we started from doing the same thing. But I guess that's kind of the great thing about the whole tradition. Because no matter what happens in the 365 days that are yet to come, there will be a day where you get to put that all behind you and decide to start all over with fucking up the rest of your life.

With that said I guess I should come to my new years resolution, which more than likely it should be to drop a few pounds but it is not. I was over at my uncle's house earlier tonight and I was in the room with my three little cousins, we where playing their Wii that they had just got for Christmas and boy was I having a good time. And My little cousin Jordan who is only seven years old and it just one of the cutest things that I have ever seen was just laughing and having the time of her life. And I just thought to myself that these are the moments that I want to live for. Those precious moments of complete innocence. I mean just being with all three of them tonight just made me never want to miss a single moment in their lives. Which of course I will, and I'll blink and one day they will be 18 and headed off to college. But I guess that is really not to point.

The point is, that this year my new years resolution is going to be to spread myself too thin. I want to experience everything. I want to get on the right track to starting up some sort of a career and I also want to spend as much time as a possibly can with my family laughing and eating and talking about the days when I was just a kid. And I want to spend so much time with my friends, just shooting the ship about god only knows the crazy things that we talk about. And I want to make new friends. I want to meet people that have a totally different perspective on life and I want to be surprised by them. I want to be a light in which people can see the fire burning within me and want to know me because I have made their life all to more better for that. I know that this might sound crazy but I want to do it all. I want to see things that are new and amazing and startling, because I feel that my life with be better for it. I'm 25 years old now and I think that it is about damn time that I start to make some kind of an impact on this world.

I can't believe that it is already 2010, but I really do think that this is going to be a good year, I know it in my heart. I know that I won't be able to do nearly all of the things that I have just stated on this list, but I'm damn sure going to try. I had a baseball coach that once said, "I know it's early guys, but you can sleep when you're dead." And you know what I think that he is kind of right. There are so many things left for me to see and do, what is the point in sleeping though them. This year I am going to be as tired as one person can possibly be. My body is going to feel used and abused if I have anything to say about it, and in doing this I will know that I have lived. So, I've told you mine, what's your new years resolution?

It's Not Complicated

Right at this very second I am about to do something that I never ever do. Something that I try my best to never do. And that something is to blow up a movie. I know how much it takes to make a movie, I know the effort that so many people put into something to try and make it great, so I almost feel that it is not my place to then go and try and tear it down. But the movie that I just got done watching needs to be kicked in the nuts. That movie that I am speaking of right now is , It's Complicated.

Now right off the bat I know that there are so many people out there that are going to absolutely love this movie, my sister being one of those people. I mean women in their 40's and up this movie is probably going to be right up your alley. Well most women in general it's going to be right up your alley, but the truth of the matter is that this movie is just downright bad, and I'm not talking about the Micheal Jackson song lyrics "Bad" , I'm talking this is a bad movie.

It really is hard for me to say this because I have become quite the fan of Nancy Meyers and her movies. I really do enjoy her other movies: What Women Want, Somethings got to Give is really good, and I was particularly fond of The Holiday. But this movie is something completely different. It really does just miss on so many different levels for me. The first being that for a movie with the title It's Complicated, it absolutely wasn't. The movie was a very one note movie that left no element of surprise and if you think you have it all figured out about thirty minutes into the movie, believe me you do. The second problem that I have with this movie is the fact that it really is tackling some heavy subject matter and it just does it in the fluffiest bullshit way imaginable. The thing that Meyers movies have always had going for them is the fact that the material never really out weighs the fluff in the movie. I mean her most notably hard hitting movie as far as material thus far as been Something's got to Give, and that movie was handled just right, but It's Complicated is a prime example of what can happen to a movie when there just isn't enough focus.

I mean the acting in this movie is very good. Steep is her usual great self, Baldwin turns in another great comedic performance, and Steve Martin does a surprisingly good job playing the nice guy role. Then there is John Krasinski playing the stuck in the middle you've seen it before comic relief of the movie and he does a really good job, but outside of these characters every other character in the movie is just paper thin.

One of the things that really gets me is the fact that this movie wants to tackle one of the most serious of subjects, divorce and how the people get along after they are divorced, but it wants to do it in the most light hearted of ways which is just complete bullshit for anyone who has been in the middle of this situation. The other thing is the fact that Meyers always creates this Brady Bunch super tight unstoppable families in her movies which can just be this sort of overkill if you ask me. Because every family has a shit ton of money with three kids that are just super close and are all on there way or already are super successful. It's just too much, and it almost makes all of the so called problems that the characters in the movie are having menial.

Not to mention the fact that when I was watching the movie and the family was together acting all close knit and everything it just came off so fucking forced. For me there really was no chemistry there with the family so much so that all the scenes when they are all together comes off as some cheezy 1970's sitcom or something, I mean it is just that bad. Now let's throw in the fact that throughout the whole movie the kids are talking about how it use to be and they are begging their mom to let their dad stay over, and are acting like they want the family back together. But the moment they find out that their parents have been sleeping together they all flip out start crying and leave the house. And these are kids that are in the their early to mid 20's and one who is probably in her early 30's. Granted every family is going to have a crier in it, but if you are going to tell me that every kid is going to leave in tears then I'm going to have to call bullshit.

And all the silly gags are at an all time high. It is almost like they try to put one after another to keep the crowd laughing instead of mixing in some really emotional true to life scenes that would in fact have made the movie more complicated. It cruises right along in this happy little bullshit story until it abruptly climaxes and then of course fixes it all in a couple of scenes at the end of the movie and everyone is happy and everyone knows their place. For me this movie was the biggest bunch of bullshit I have seen in a very long time, and I went and saw THE SPIRIT mind you. You might like this movie if you are reading this, but really this movie is a pile of shit.

You know people say a lot of shit and most of the time when most people are talking I can't help but think that they are full of shit. It's like a reflex for me now because so many people are full of shit, and my bullshit meter seems to be pretty good. Now why do you ask am I talking about people being full of shit. Well there seems to be this little bullshit cliche saying that has been really getting to me lately. You know when someone says that something is the hardest thing that they've ever had to do. You know like letting so and so go, or not going out, or breaking up with so and so. It's basically a whole list of things that you can fill in to that little saying.
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And the thing about it is that I want to be the one right here and right now to say that people that say that are one hundred percent full of shit. I am so sick of hearing people say it. I think the next person that says some stupid shit along those lines I'm just gonna reach back and punch them in the face, and if it's a girl I might just have to open hand slap the shit out of them. So everyone that his reading this right here and now just be warned. I mean really if whatever stupid fucking thing that you have conjured up in your mind was really that hard you wouldn't be going around talking about it. Because honestly if it was one of the hardest things that you had to do you wouldn't sit around talking about that shit. But whatever really I digress. I don't know why I am even talking about this. I mean nobody reads this self loathing shit anyway, who am I really if not just a thumbprint on the window of a skyscrapper. Whatever this is what I think if you don't like it, read something else.