It's been a while since I have wrote anything on here. For those few of you that actually do read this and somewhat enjoy it I would like to say that I am sorry for that. I just really haven't felt too inspired lately. The last few days I've talked to some friends on the phone and it has made me miss home more than I could have ever realized. And it also made me realize that when I moved, it was the abrupt and almost what seemed like it was out of nowhere, even though it really wasn't.
The last week or so when I wake up I feel different. I don't really know how to explain it besides the fact that I just really don't feel like myself. But really I don't know that last time I have felt like myself. I came out here on the journey to prove something to myself, and although I have just been out here a few months it kind of feels like by trying to prove one thing, I have proven the complete opposite. I almost felt like this was some sort of hero's journey. I know that that sounds really stupid and to be honest borderline insane, but that is the way that I felt about it. I felt as if it was the journey that I had to take at this particular point in my life and that by doing so it is going to make all the difference in my life. Now the hard part about this whole thing is that when i started off I was picturing the journey more a kin to that of Luke Skywalker, when in reality I am leaning more on the side of Anakin, and that is not a good thing, enough though some might beg to differ.
Now this whole thing is making me think about something a professor once talked about in class. He said no one is happy until the end is known. And I've been thinking about that statement a lot lately. Not to say that I am so unhappy because that is just not the case. I just really want to know what my end is, but I guess we all do. I miss my friends and family everyday. I once read a book and there was a quote at that end of it, it said something like never tell anybody anything, or you'll miss everyone. Never has that statement been more true than right now. Because I miss everyone like crazy, but I guess I must continue this journey weather I turn out to be the one that restores the force or I fall prey to the dark side, I'm in it now and hopefully I can make to best of this and not end up with my tail tucked between my legs back where I started.
I don't for the life of my even know why I wrote this post, it seems to be just another random blog, but I guess my intentions where to tell the ones that matter to me that I love and miss them, and that they are always with me.
