It has been quite some time since I have been on here writing about my most personal of thoughts. Mostly because lately I have been keeping those most personal of thoughts in my head and out of the way of others. For better or for worse. But now as the month of February come to an end and another Black History Month and Black History Month Contest is almost over I just felt so compelled to get on here and spill my guts once more.
So last year was a very rough year for me in many ways. And I'm not even talking about the election. I started the year making having two goals. I wanted to make strives in my career and I also wanted to make strives in my relationships with the opposite sex. Although I do believe that I achieved in both goals that I set out for it was not without its struggles and sometimes even road blocks. And by the time the end of the year came I felt completely out of place within my own skin and in the path that I was headed down in life.
You see in going after these pursuits. These singular avenues if you will I feel like I neglected some other things in my life and I lost quite a bit of myself. And it left me with some what of an empty space inside of me. Now once a friend of my talked about the concept of "empty spaces" and I do feel that to some extent we all have these inside of us, always longing and trying to fill them up. But last year I felt like the empty spaces within me started to overtake me.
In focusing so much of these things within me I neglected to focus on the real thing that has continuously and always fed my soul. And that is PEOPLE. I lost quite a bit of focus on my family and my friends. I told myself that I was very busy and I started to let things slip. I wasn't the person that i prided myself on being. I wasn't the friend that my friends deserve to have. Now I think that for the most part my family and my friends would say that I was "fine". But that is not at all who or what I want to be. "Fine", who in the world wants "fine"? If I am or have been anything less than an amazing friend then I am not okay with that. Because that is what all of my friend have been and what they mean to me. I have no use for being just a "fine" friend or have a friendship that is "fine", because the people that are in my life are much more and mean much more to me than that.
So, I set out for a new goal this year. And I don't plan on discussing it in this post. But there are things that I want to accomplish this year and I really won't settle for anything less. And I know that this year is just a couple months old but I feel as though I am on the path that I need to be on. And I feel that so much this month because during Black History Month my friends always set out to make me feel extra special. And I know whenever I talk about this whole thing with people I tell them that I shamed my friends into doing all of this, but I know that's not really true. I know that it's because of the love that you all have for me and the love that I have for all of you. And soon I will announce this years winner of the SOUL GLO CUP, you'll have to pry it out of Amy's hands I'm sure so that you can engrave your name on it, but before I do I just want to take a moment to thank some of you for what you mean to me.
JENNA: your letters to me this month have stirred up so many emotions both good and bad and have made me challenge myself in new ways that I have not to in quite sometime. You are a fierce woman of the highest character and intellegance and I am in aww of you constantly. BO: your struggle and your percevierance is inspiring to me. The talk that we had the other day was like a breath of fresh air to me and I'm so happy to know that you are doing well in this world and still fighting and kicking ass. CUADRAS: that picture, sent me to tears. I felt so much love coming from you all that I was completely overwhelmed. And that fact that you wanted to see old pictures of my grandfather had me overcome with pride and joy, so thank you. CC: whenever you come out and visit me it's always special. You are such a chill and genuinely good dude that I always feel more centered after you come and visit. DREW: I'm always looking forward to our late night talks. It is in these conversations that I am forming the person that I want to be. The way you are striving with you food truck inspires the hell out of me. MERRELLS: you guys are the fighters. The fight that you guys have in you pushes me to get more of that in me. I can't think of any finer people, and the Hurricane is one of my favorite humans on the planet. CORY: if I didn't have you knocking me down, well I might just be completely full of myself by now. You are one of the few that makes it okay for me to march to the beat of my own drum. COACH: as long as I know you I'll never forget where I come from, and now I have the knife to prove it. You are the part of Oklahoma that I always long for. DON: I'm sure I'm going to argue with you for the rest of my life and we are going to make a lot of people uncomfortable in doing so, but I don't mind. GLOVERS: Asa is the real MVP as far as I'm concerned. And now I long for our Sunday morning phone calls. I feel like as long as I know you all I will continue to grow. PAIGE: I will never call you April, but your love for movies and good TV makes me love those things that much more, thank you for that. HOOKSES: You two know exactly who you are and you never waiver for even a second. I want and need that in my life. And you seem to love even the worst side of me, so thank you. OZUNAS: you two are the rocks, strong and immovable, patient and kind. It doesn't matter what happens, I know you're always going to be there. MIKE: your passion and drive is infectious. Like a sickness you pass it on to me in the best way. When we get a chance to really talk it is always enlightening. AMY: your kind words are always welcoming and the fact that you are working your ass of and opening your own business inspires the hell out of me. I so wish you would have been able to meet my grandfather too.
I know that there are so many others deserving of thanks, and I promise I will get to you all in the very near future. I've just run out of time this time around. But I hope that you all know that you are now and will always be in my heart. And whatever your dreams are they are my dreams as well and whatever I can do to help them come true for you, I will.
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Friday, August 21, 2015
How One Man Changed the way I Feel about FOOTBALL
So, it has been an incredibly long time since I've brought any of you some of my god-like wisdom. And I would like to start this whole thing off by apologizing for that fact. I guess I just felt like lately I haven't had anything to say. Which is not entirely true, but all the ways that I wanted to say the things I had to say just didn't seem to be coming out right. Until now I hope. I really do feel like I'm going to go out on a limb on this one and believe me there are going to be so many of you out there waiting to cut that limb off. But I don't care. I'm going to say what I have to say, and you're gonna sit there and read it. And you're going to like it, or not, I don't give a damn either way. But if you don't like it that just means you're a piece of jerk that should go play in traffic.
This piece that I'm about to write is greatly if not all inspired by somebody in my life that is near and dear to my heart. I kind of think that this guy is one of the most forward thinkers of our generation and if you ever have a chance to chew the fat with this guy I highly recommend that you do so. You will be a better and happier person for it. The person that I am going on about right now is none other than Drew "The View" Hooper. This piece stems from so many conversations that we have had over the past year and a simple and bold decision that he made.
It's funny the ripples that a simple decision like the one that he made has had on me. Over the past month or so I find myself thinking more and more about his decision and how that decision has changed the way that I view and think about things. And seeing how football season is literally right around the corner there really is no better time than right now to write this blog. And now that I've gone on and on about this I guess it's about time to tell you all out there the decision that he made that has changed me. My friend Drew Hooper, the OU Sooner, Dallas Cowboy loving football fanatic that he is has decided that he will not be watching a single minute of football this year. (I know most of you reading this minds were just blown)
I'm not going to get into all of his reasons, because truly and honestly that is for him to talk about. And believe me I will not be able to do his words justice anyway. I do invite any of you that know him, or that don't know him to ask him about it. Because the conversation that you have with him just might change you for the better too. And now for the meat and potatoes of it all.
Let me start out by saying that I like so many of you out there love football. When I was 5 years old I wanted to be Joe Montana. I have fond memories of playing peewee football. Every year I play in a fantasy football league that is one of the great joys of my year. I am a die hard 49ers fan and when they lose I am deeply effected. It really is quite disturbing.
I say all of these things to let everyone out there reading this just how much I love football and how I didn't come upon these words or these thoughts lightly. So after talking to Drew and making through the entitle shock of hearing him say that he isn't watching football this year and making fun of him for a minute. I must say that the way he feels about things are pretty right on the money and I myself am having second thoughts.
Now I know that I will still be watching football and even participating in my fantasy league, but I must say that I have great pause at this moment and I've even gone so far as the bring it up to other people when I go out and the topic of football comes up. Now anybody reading this knows just how much I love baseball, but I think we can all agree that football is America's sport. People just can't get enough of it. And after talking to Drew and recent events that have happened I've come to the conclusion that there is something very wrong with the culture of football in this country.
Let us first start with compensation. Football is by far the most popular sport in this country and is a billion dollar industry and people just can't get enough of it. Every year the owners are trying to add more games and yet these players get paid like shit! And I know that some of you out there are going to talk about how these guys are millionaires and there are getting payed to play a game and blah blah blah. The truth of the matter though is that for what these players go through. The injuries they sustain. And the shortened life expectancy that they have, they really aren't getting paid shit. Especially not in comparison to the other two major sports in this country.
All you really have to do is look at the terms of someone like Dez Bryant and what he means to the NFL and how much he had to struggle to get the contract that he got that people will act like is this great achievement. And then look at an NBA player like Reggie Jackson and what he means to the NBA and what he just got payed. You look up those two contracts and there terms and get back to me.
I mean for god's sake what other place of business do you sign a contract and the amount of money that is in that contract isn't even all guaranteed? And don't even get me started about the fact that most of these players are going to die long before old age sets in because they are spending so much of there lives running full speed into other people. And the sad thing is that we value this violence so much. I mean really what does it say about us as a society? Why do we love the violence and the injuries and the pain that these guys go through so much? And we all say that we don't but who are we kidding, that's why we watch this shit.
And you know what, I'm just going to say it right here and now. These college players playing today need to be compensated. And I really don't know how and I'm not necessarily saying that they need to be payed out right. Maybe have some sort of trust for these players but lets be real with ourselves, they deserve better. I know a lot of you at this point are rolling your eyes and will inevitable make the claim that, "they are getting a free education." To that I just want to say stop it!!
There is nothing free about that education. With all the time and hours they have to put into football the education becomes nothing more than an after thought and everyone knows it. They are making these universities and coaches millions and billions of dollars and people really want to say well they are getting a free education. Listen I played sports in college, I know how hard it is. I struggled and I consider myself to be a decent student. I would have went to college with or without sports. But most of the kids out there on that field wouldn't. Most of them barely make the grades to get into college and the only reason they are there is because of what they can do on that football field. And coaches and counselors and advisers often times direct them to easy majors that take little to no effort to pass because they know just how much time they have to put on the field and they don't want a thing like school work getting in the way of that. Not to mention the fact that most of these guys have note takers and people that are practically willing to take their test for them so that they can stay eligible and play on Saturdays. So don't talk to me about the "education" that these kids are getting, because nobody, not the coaches, not the administration, and not the NCAA give a damn about these kids futures as long as they stay eligible for games and help the school to keep bringing in money.
Then there is the overwhelming culture of belligerent assholes that are football players that think that they are invincible and that they can get away with whatever they want. And we are doing nothing but feeding this flame. It is just so very disturbing the number of acts of violence that football players engage in against women. It seems like every time you turn around there is a football player getting arrested for domestic abuse or there is a video tape of a football player punching a woman in the face. And then there are always those few that try to come out and defend it. Like it's ever okay to punch a woman in the face. I mean I'm 30 damn years old and I've never remotely came close to punching a woman in the face. But when it comes to football players you might want to pin a damn medal on a guy that's made it that long without doing so.
How freaking pathetic is that. And you know what I don't think that these guys deserve second chances. I'm starting to see that this is the problem with this whole group. For a football player life is nothing but a second chance and really and truly I'm kind of sick of it.
Like I said before I'm a die hard 49ers fan and if you didn't know Alden Smith just got cut from the team. After getting his 4th DUI!!! So finally after already getting 3 chances he finally got cut from the team. The guy is a freaking millionaire that wants for nothing, but he's not smart enough to hire a driver so he doesn't get a DUI. And if nobody else will say it, I will. He belongs in jail. Because sooner or later he's going to kill somebody driving drunk and it could have been avoided. But because he was a football player he gets to keep on doing stupid shit like this. And the really sad thing is that some other team is going to take a chance on him. And people in football will say isn't it great that he is getting a second chance, but you know what? I'm fresh out of second chances for football players. Give those chances to people who deserve it and will make the best out of it. Kids look up to these guys and they don't even seem to take that responsibility seriously.
Geno Smith gets sucker punched and his jaw broken by a guy during training camp and the Jets cut him. The very next day the Buffalo Bills pick this guy up to be on their team. The very next day!!! What kind of message does that send to kids out there that are paying attention to this? How can we really and truly live with ourselves when these are the types of things happening within our society today. It's just too much for me. It's been building and building and I'm just sick to death of this culture that football has brought about.
And what seems to be the most ridiculous thing that I've seen in the last couple of months in the terrible show by the name of BALLERS. I mean first of all the show just completely sucks and anyone that tries to convince me otherwise, well I guess I would say they don't know shit. I mean the show is basically a shittier version of Entourage and that is really saying something. But really all the show does is glorify this whole bullshit culture of football that I've been talking about. With players driving fast cars with their mistresses, having a "fun" house where they go to party, do drugs, and fuck random girls without their wives knowing about it. And all the while they have The Rock running around saying, "such and such is a good kid, him doing coke off a girls tits shouldn't ruin his career." Are you really fucking kidding me?
I know I'm just one person, and even if you do read this you are going to tune in and watch football all season long this year. Hell I know I'm going to watch my fair share of games. I know what football means to most of you out there, because I know how much it means to me. And I'm not saying that any of you are bad people. All I hope in writing this is that maybe you stop and think for just a minute the next time you turn on a football game. Maybe it gives you pause for just one second if what you are watching really is the best thing for you as a person and us as a society. Because I know that I've been thinking a lot about it.
I wanted to write this blog to pay homage to one of the most forward thinking guys that I've ever known. It's okay if you don't agree with anything I said. I'm just happy that I finally said it. I guess I just wanted him to know that the things that we talk about matter a whole lot to me. And that I feel as though he has changed me for the better. This blog is about how one man has changed the way I think about things. And I hope if you are reading this that you have a friend like I do that can help open your mind up to so many different possibilities that the world has to offer. Thank you Drew Hooper.
This piece that I'm about to write is greatly if not all inspired by somebody in my life that is near and dear to my heart. I kind of think that this guy is one of the most forward thinkers of our generation and if you ever have a chance to chew the fat with this guy I highly recommend that you do so. You will be a better and happier person for it. The person that I am going on about right now is none other than Drew "The View" Hooper. This piece stems from so many conversations that we have had over the past year and a simple and bold decision that he made.
It's funny the ripples that a simple decision like the one that he made has had on me. Over the past month or so I find myself thinking more and more about his decision and how that decision has changed the way that I view and think about things. And seeing how football season is literally right around the corner there really is no better time than right now to write this blog. And now that I've gone on and on about this I guess it's about time to tell you all out there the decision that he made that has changed me. My friend Drew Hooper, the OU Sooner, Dallas Cowboy loving football fanatic that he is has decided that he will not be watching a single minute of football this year. (I know most of you reading this minds were just blown)
I'm not going to get into all of his reasons, because truly and honestly that is for him to talk about. And believe me I will not be able to do his words justice anyway. I do invite any of you that know him, or that don't know him to ask him about it. Because the conversation that you have with him just might change you for the better too. And now for the meat and potatoes of it all.
Let me start out by saying that I like so many of you out there love football. When I was 5 years old I wanted to be Joe Montana. I have fond memories of playing peewee football. Every year I play in a fantasy football league that is one of the great joys of my year. I am a die hard 49ers fan and when they lose I am deeply effected. It really is quite disturbing.
I say all of these things to let everyone out there reading this just how much I love football and how I didn't come upon these words or these thoughts lightly. So after talking to Drew and making through the entitle shock of hearing him say that he isn't watching football this year and making fun of him for a minute. I must say that the way he feels about things are pretty right on the money and I myself am having second thoughts.
Now I know that I will still be watching football and even participating in my fantasy league, but I must say that I have great pause at this moment and I've even gone so far as the bring it up to other people when I go out and the topic of football comes up. Now anybody reading this knows just how much I love baseball, but I think we can all agree that football is America's sport. People just can't get enough of it. And after talking to Drew and recent events that have happened I've come to the conclusion that there is something very wrong with the culture of football in this country.
Let us first start with compensation. Football is by far the most popular sport in this country and is a billion dollar industry and people just can't get enough of it. Every year the owners are trying to add more games and yet these players get paid like shit! And I know that some of you out there are going to talk about how these guys are millionaires and there are getting payed to play a game and blah blah blah. The truth of the matter though is that for what these players go through. The injuries they sustain. And the shortened life expectancy that they have, they really aren't getting paid shit. Especially not in comparison to the other two major sports in this country.
All you really have to do is look at the terms of someone like Dez Bryant and what he means to the NFL and how much he had to struggle to get the contract that he got that people will act like is this great achievement. And then look at an NBA player like Reggie Jackson and what he means to the NBA and what he just got payed. You look up those two contracts and there terms and get back to me.
I mean for god's sake what other place of business do you sign a contract and the amount of money that is in that contract isn't even all guaranteed? And don't even get me started about the fact that most of these players are going to die long before old age sets in because they are spending so much of there lives running full speed into other people. And the sad thing is that we value this violence so much. I mean really what does it say about us as a society? Why do we love the violence and the injuries and the pain that these guys go through so much? And we all say that we don't but who are we kidding, that's why we watch this shit.
And you know what, I'm just going to say it right here and now. These college players playing today need to be compensated. And I really don't know how and I'm not necessarily saying that they need to be payed out right. Maybe have some sort of trust for these players but lets be real with ourselves, they deserve better. I know a lot of you at this point are rolling your eyes and will inevitable make the claim that, "they are getting a free education." To that I just want to say stop it!!
There is nothing free about that education. With all the time and hours they have to put into football the education becomes nothing more than an after thought and everyone knows it. They are making these universities and coaches millions and billions of dollars and people really want to say well they are getting a free education. Listen I played sports in college, I know how hard it is. I struggled and I consider myself to be a decent student. I would have went to college with or without sports. But most of the kids out there on that field wouldn't. Most of them barely make the grades to get into college and the only reason they are there is because of what they can do on that football field. And coaches and counselors and advisers often times direct them to easy majors that take little to no effort to pass because they know just how much time they have to put on the field and they don't want a thing like school work getting in the way of that. Not to mention the fact that most of these guys have note takers and people that are practically willing to take their test for them so that they can stay eligible and play on Saturdays. So don't talk to me about the "education" that these kids are getting, because nobody, not the coaches, not the administration, and not the NCAA give a damn about these kids futures as long as they stay eligible for games and help the school to keep bringing in money.
Then there is the overwhelming culture of belligerent assholes that are football players that think that they are invincible and that they can get away with whatever they want. And we are doing nothing but feeding this flame. It is just so very disturbing the number of acts of violence that football players engage in against women. It seems like every time you turn around there is a football player getting arrested for domestic abuse or there is a video tape of a football player punching a woman in the face. And then there are always those few that try to come out and defend it. Like it's ever okay to punch a woman in the face. I mean I'm 30 damn years old and I've never remotely came close to punching a woman in the face. But when it comes to football players you might want to pin a damn medal on a guy that's made it that long without doing so.
How freaking pathetic is that. And you know what I don't think that these guys deserve second chances. I'm starting to see that this is the problem with this whole group. For a football player life is nothing but a second chance and really and truly I'm kind of sick of it.
Like I said before I'm a die hard 49ers fan and if you didn't know Alden Smith just got cut from the team. After getting his 4th DUI!!! So finally after already getting 3 chances he finally got cut from the team. The guy is a freaking millionaire that wants for nothing, but he's not smart enough to hire a driver so he doesn't get a DUI. And if nobody else will say it, I will. He belongs in jail. Because sooner or later he's going to kill somebody driving drunk and it could have been avoided. But because he was a football player he gets to keep on doing stupid shit like this. And the really sad thing is that some other team is going to take a chance on him. And people in football will say isn't it great that he is getting a second chance, but you know what? I'm fresh out of second chances for football players. Give those chances to people who deserve it and will make the best out of it. Kids look up to these guys and they don't even seem to take that responsibility seriously.
Geno Smith gets sucker punched and his jaw broken by a guy during training camp and the Jets cut him. The very next day the Buffalo Bills pick this guy up to be on their team. The very next day!!! What kind of message does that send to kids out there that are paying attention to this? How can we really and truly live with ourselves when these are the types of things happening within our society today. It's just too much for me. It's been building and building and I'm just sick to death of this culture that football has brought about.
And what seems to be the most ridiculous thing that I've seen in the last couple of months in the terrible show by the name of BALLERS. I mean first of all the show just completely sucks and anyone that tries to convince me otherwise, well I guess I would say they don't know shit. I mean the show is basically a shittier version of Entourage and that is really saying something. But really all the show does is glorify this whole bullshit culture of football that I've been talking about. With players driving fast cars with their mistresses, having a "fun" house where they go to party, do drugs, and fuck random girls without their wives knowing about it. And all the while they have The Rock running around saying, "such and such is a good kid, him doing coke off a girls tits shouldn't ruin his career." Are you really fucking kidding me?
I know I'm just one person, and even if you do read this you are going to tune in and watch football all season long this year. Hell I know I'm going to watch my fair share of games. I know what football means to most of you out there, because I know how much it means to me. And I'm not saying that any of you are bad people. All I hope in writing this is that maybe you stop and think for just a minute the next time you turn on a football game. Maybe it gives you pause for just one second if what you are watching really is the best thing for you as a person and us as a society. Because I know that I've been thinking a lot about it.
I wanted to write this blog to pay homage to one of the most forward thinking guys that I've ever known. It's okay if you don't agree with anything I said. I'm just happy that I finally said it. I guess I just wanted him to know that the things that we talk about matter a whole lot to me. And that I feel as though he has changed me for the better. This blog is about how one man has changed the way I think about things. And I hope if you are reading this that you have a friend like I do that can help open your mind up to so many different possibilities that the world has to offer. Thank you Drew Hooper.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
The Thing About Embarrassment
Here's the thing folks. A yesterday I had a conversation with my father. And at the end of that conversation all I could think was that my father just might be my favorite person in the whole world. Of course those that really know me might be shocked. Shocked because I am and have always been a bit of a mama's boy. But there is just something about being a son and having a father that you completely look up to. Before I get into what I want to talk about I just want to say one thing. If you're reading this, you're parents know more about you than you might even realize. They know things about you that you think nobody could possibly know. A couple days before the phone call that I just got from he called because he heard that it was the 30th anniversary of the Thundercats.
Now I know that might not mean anything to anyone else, but growing up it was my favorite cartoon. It was always that and the Ninja Turtles. And here I am at the ripe old age of 30 and my dad calls me because he heard that and thought about me. I never realized that he was paying attention. After all he had more important things to do back then, like hanging the moon and saving the world. Which I'm pretty sure he did both. But that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I wanted to talk about embarrassment. Which is something that I have become quite accustom to in my life. I bet I can almost guarantee that there isn't a person out there that has broken as many or has fallen out of as many chairs as I have. I'm not even joking about that, either I'm GUTTIER than I think I am or I have the bad look of always sitting in a chair that's about to go down.
Just look at the way that chair just buckled under me. Could there be a sadder sight? And let me just say that this picture doesn't even enter my top 10 of embarrassing moments, not even my top 50, and everybody in this bar kept coming up to me and asking if I was okay.
I have noticed though that most of the moments in my life that I have been most embarrassed about have involved my father. I can't really put my finger on why that is, except for maybe the fact that I do in fact care a lot what my father thinks of me. But those moments in life, those moments when you really want to crawl into a shell and get the hell out of there or jump into your time machine and jump ahead a few minutes to get out of that moment, my father always happened to be there.
I guess I won't go into all of such moments of my life but I'll instead give you my top 2. The top 2 most embarrassing moments of my life. The moments that have shaped me into the person I am today that is constantly doing embarrassing things, but can shake them off like nothing really happened.
1.) So I think I was 17 years old, and I had just gotten my first car. My father had finally gotten tired of driving me around and he bought me an all white dodge neon that was a 5-speed stick shift. Now one of the greatest moments of my you manhood was when I first mastered the stick shift. But let me just say that it was a long and humiliating road doing so. And anybody that knows how to drive a stick shift knows exactly what I'm talking about. The endless amount of times you are grinding those gears together or the times you stall out at a stoplight and cars behind you are laying on their horn. And the only real sense of relief you have is the fact that there wasn't a girl in the car with you. And god help you if you are at a stoplight that is on a hill. Oh my gosh the sweat beads start building up and rolling down your face.
So naturally when I first got my car it sat in the driveway for about a month. I had my license I was just too afraid to drive it. And I remember one particular day that my father decided that enough was enough and we were going to go out and drive it around. Now my father's neighborhood isn't really busy to this day and even less so back when this story took place. And I cautiously drove around the neighborhood, stalling out a few times and concentrating as hard as I could so that I didn't look like and idiot in front of my father.
Well after 20 minutes or so of my struggling through the gears my father decided he knew the perfect way to teach me. We went down a long straight road in the back of our neighborhood that nobody was ever on, and he got in the drivers seat and told me the best way to get comfortable with switching gears was to "Pop the Clutch" as he called it. He revved the car up and flew down the street switching through gears as the car picked up speed and then slamming on the breaks as we got closer to the dead end of the street. And when we were at a complete stop and my heart was about to jump out of my chest from my father trying to kill me he looked over at me and said, "That's how it's done. Now you try."
And as I got out of the car and walked over to the drivers side, all I could think about is, "My father doesn't know me at all." I mean growing up I was the kid that hated amusement parks because I thought that roller coasters where dangers and out of control. And now he wanted me to hurl us down the street in my new car, that I couldn't even drive that well towards a dead end. I mean did he have a death wish or what? And I remember getting in the car and reversing it back to where we started and I revved the car engine up and I just sat there. I couldn't do it, I was completely parallized with fear. And after a minute of sitting there my father finally said, "let's just drive around the neighborhood some more. And so we did.
And for 20 more minutes I drove around the neighborhood and I couldn't even look at my father. And to be honest I don't know if you looked at me. It felt like one of those moments in life that only boys know about. When you are with your father and without him saying it to you he is putting you in a position to be like, son this is one of the steps in becoming a man. And boy did I fail miserably in that step. And me and him never talked about it after that day and I don't remember talking much to him for the next week or so. I was embarrassed and humiliated. Of course I went on to master the stick shift and every time I'm out and it comes up and someone ask, "is there anyone here who can drive a stick?" there is always a sense of pride that swells up in me as so many other guys in the room say they can't when I know that I can.
2.) Now this story is not really for the faint of heart and it is by far the most embarrassing thing that has ever and I mean ever happened to me. I actually thought about not telling this story and pulling something else from all of the embarrassing things that have happened to me. But then I thought that would be a disservice to this blog and to my writing in general. I want to be as honest as I can be when it comes to my writing. I try to be as honest as I can be in life as well, but it always seems that there are always going to be white lies that sneak in every once in a while. I guess I've made peace with that. I mean I will always continue to be better, but who am I kidding, they are always going to find their way in.
But with my writing I want it to be different. I want that to be my most honest self, so that when somebody reads this they get a sense of what it's like to be me. What I really think about and how I really feel about most things. So here goes the most embarrassing story that I've never told in my entire life.
When I got to high school I went and lived with my father. He said it was so that he could teach me how to be a man. I tend to think it was so he would have someone to do the yard work and torture with his terrible cooking. Now I can honestly say that after a good 10 years my father's cooking has managed to slid up barely past edible. But that's not what this story is about. This story is about two men living in a house together and trying to figure out each others boundaries.
Now my father at the time was a bit a of bachelor when did have quite a few women coming in and out of the house. And the strange thing was that they all felt the need to try and impress me like a was a 8 year old child. I would randomly get pairs of socks and other things from these women in an attempt to win me over. But I learned early on to never get to attached because there would be a new one next month. And I made the mistake of calling one by the wrong name once and I can only imagine that was a very awkward night for my father.
My dad hadn't quite gotten use to his teenage son living with him since we really hadn't lived in the same house together for I guess a good 6 or 7 years. And oh was that clear on this one not so fine day. I had just gotten home from basketball practice if I'm not mistaken. I showered up and started in on a little homework. and after I was done I turned on the TV and nothing was on. Now being that I was 16 at the time and there was nothing to do and I was a ball of hormones anyway I decided to do what any 16 year old boy in my situation would do. You guess it, I decided to SNAP ONE OFF. I hope you all know the euphemism I'm referring to. And if you don't you are probably way to young to be reading this blog.
Now this was somewhere around the time of dial-up internet and my house just barely had a computer. And laptops where completely out of the question for my family. So good old internet porn on the hundreds of free porn sites that are around today was completely out of the question. Now what was in the question were the dvds that were floating around. I really do miss the old days of porn on a dvd. But anyway, I threw on one of my favorite dvds turned the TV down to as low as it could go where I could still hear things every once in a while like, "spank me" and things of that nature, but not so loud that it would draw attention to my room. There is a fine line that you have to walk when you are a 16 year old boy living with your father watching porn. And let me just say that I had it down to a science. Or so I thought.
Because the next thing you know I'm mid SNAP and my door is swinging open and it's my father announcing dinner. Now let me just say there has never been a single moment in my life more embarrassing than that moment right there. Me a 16 year old boy with my dick in my hands, and porn on the TV. My father busting in and seeing what's happening and rushing out, while I try to cover myself up. Just thinking about it now has me laughing embarrassingly at my computer. I remember staying in my room for a good hour before I came out to get my dinner. And I didn't look up at all, I grabbed my food that was cold took it directly to my room and shoveled it into my mouth and sat there for another two hours waiting for my father to go to bed before I left my room to put my plate away. And I'll be damned if he didn't stay up extra late that night. And all I could think about that night was, why in the hell did my door not have a lock on it?
For the next week me and my father didn't say but two words to each other. Neither one of us knew what to say. I didn't think I would ever live it down, and I can only imagine what he thought about it. And then out of nowhere I'm sitting in my room on a Saturday afternoon and there is a knock on my door. and in walks my father, and he has with him one of those large "know yourself and your changing body" teen puberty books. and we have what I can only assume is the sex talk. I'm not exactly sure what all was said but when it was all done I had a book full of different nicknames for male and female genitalia and a list with pictures with all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases. And to this day me and my father never mention a word about either one of these days. The only thing that I really know is that it was by far the single most embarrassing moment of my life.
Now I've told you these stories to prove a point. Well maybe I've told you these stories because I think they are entertaining. Seriously there is a point to all of this. I think to often in life people are afraid to do the things they want to do because they are afraid of being embarrassed. I know that I have been guilty of that. Even with all the embarrassing things that I have done. And I wanted to tell you these stories to let you all out there know that embarrassment is just a part of life. I mean if you are someone like me then it is a big part of your life. But in the long run it really just doesn't matter. It's another story to tell at a party, and it doesn't kill you. Wear your embarrassments like a bandage of honor, I'm telling you that's what I do and it really just makes a world of difference. Anyway, if you've gotten nothing from this I hope at least you have enjoyed the stories.
Now I know that might not mean anything to anyone else, but growing up it was my favorite cartoon. It was always that and the Ninja Turtles. And here I am at the ripe old age of 30 and my dad calls me because he heard that and thought about me. I never realized that he was paying attention. After all he had more important things to do back then, like hanging the moon and saving the world. Which I'm pretty sure he did both. But that's not why I'm writing this. I'm writing this because I wanted to talk about embarrassment. Which is something that I have become quite accustom to in my life. I bet I can almost guarantee that there isn't a person out there that has broken as many or has fallen out of as many chairs as I have. I'm not even joking about that, either I'm GUTTIER than I think I am or I have the bad look of always sitting in a chair that's about to go down.
Just look at the way that chair just buckled under me. Could there be a sadder sight? And let me just say that this picture doesn't even enter my top 10 of embarrassing moments, not even my top 50, and everybody in this bar kept coming up to me and asking if I was okay.
I have noticed though that most of the moments in my life that I have been most embarrassed about have involved my father. I can't really put my finger on why that is, except for maybe the fact that I do in fact care a lot what my father thinks of me. But those moments in life, those moments when you really want to crawl into a shell and get the hell out of there or jump into your time machine and jump ahead a few minutes to get out of that moment, my father always happened to be there.
I guess I won't go into all of such moments of my life but I'll instead give you my top 2. The top 2 most embarrassing moments of my life. The moments that have shaped me into the person I am today that is constantly doing embarrassing things, but can shake them off like nothing really happened.
1.) So I think I was 17 years old, and I had just gotten my first car. My father had finally gotten tired of driving me around and he bought me an all white dodge neon that was a 5-speed stick shift. Now one of the greatest moments of my you manhood was when I first mastered the stick shift. But let me just say that it was a long and humiliating road doing so. And anybody that knows how to drive a stick shift knows exactly what I'm talking about. The endless amount of times you are grinding those gears together or the times you stall out at a stoplight and cars behind you are laying on their horn. And the only real sense of relief you have is the fact that there wasn't a girl in the car with you. And god help you if you are at a stoplight that is on a hill. Oh my gosh the sweat beads start building up and rolling down your face.
So naturally when I first got my car it sat in the driveway for about a month. I had my license I was just too afraid to drive it. And I remember one particular day that my father decided that enough was enough and we were going to go out and drive it around. Now my father's neighborhood isn't really busy to this day and even less so back when this story took place. And I cautiously drove around the neighborhood, stalling out a few times and concentrating as hard as I could so that I didn't look like and idiot in front of my father.
Well after 20 minutes or so of my struggling through the gears my father decided he knew the perfect way to teach me. We went down a long straight road in the back of our neighborhood that nobody was ever on, and he got in the drivers seat and told me the best way to get comfortable with switching gears was to "Pop the Clutch" as he called it. He revved the car up and flew down the street switching through gears as the car picked up speed and then slamming on the breaks as we got closer to the dead end of the street. And when we were at a complete stop and my heart was about to jump out of my chest from my father trying to kill me he looked over at me and said, "That's how it's done. Now you try."
And as I got out of the car and walked over to the drivers side, all I could think about is, "My father doesn't know me at all." I mean growing up I was the kid that hated amusement parks because I thought that roller coasters where dangers and out of control. And now he wanted me to hurl us down the street in my new car, that I couldn't even drive that well towards a dead end. I mean did he have a death wish or what? And I remember getting in the car and reversing it back to where we started and I revved the car engine up and I just sat there. I couldn't do it, I was completely parallized with fear. And after a minute of sitting there my father finally said, "let's just drive around the neighborhood some more. And so we did.
And for 20 more minutes I drove around the neighborhood and I couldn't even look at my father. And to be honest I don't know if you looked at me. It felt like one of those moments in life that only boys know about. When you are with your father and without him saying it to you he is putting you in a position to be like, son this is one of the steps in becoming a man. And boy did I fail miserably in that step. And me and him never talked about it after that day and I don't remember talking much to him for the next week or so. I was embarrassed and humiliated. Of course I went on to master the stick shift and every time I'm out and it comes up and someone ask, "is there anyone here who can drive a stick?" there is always a sense of pride that swells up in me as so many other guys in the room say they can't when I know that I can.
2.) Now this story is not really for the faint of heart and it is by far the most embarrassing thing that has ever and I mean ever happened to me. I actually thought about not telling this story and pulling something else from all of the embarrassing things that have happened to me. But then I thought that would be a disservice to this blog and to my writing in general. I want to be as honest as I can be when it comes to my writing. I try to be as honest as I can be in life as well, but it always seems that there are always going to be white lies that sneak in every once in a while. I guess I've made peace with that. I mean I will always continue to be better, but who am I kidding, they are always going to find their way in.
But with my writing I want it to be different. I want that to be my most honest self, so that when somebody reads this they get a sense of what it's like to be me. What I really think about and how I really feel about most things. So here goes the most embarrassing story that I've never told in my entire life.
When I got to high school I went and lived with my father. He said it was so that he could teach me how to be a man. I tend to think it was so he would have someone to do the yard work and torture with his terrible cooking. Now I can honestly say that after a good 10 years my father's cooking has managed to slid up barely past edible. But that's not what this story is about. This story is about two men living in a house together and trying to figure out each others boundaries.
Now my father at the time was a bit a of bachelor when did have quite a few women coming in and out of the house. And the strange thing was that they all felt the need to try and impress me like a was a 8 year old child. I would randomly get pairs of socks and other things from these women in an attempt to win me over. But I learned early on to never get to attached because there would be a new one next month. And I made the mistake of calling one by the wrong name once and I can only imagine that was a very awkward night for my father.
My dad hadn't quite gotten use to his teenage son living with him since we really hadn't lived in the same house together for I guess a good 6 or 7 years. And oh was that clear on this one not so fine day. I had just gotten home from basketball practice if I'm not mistaken. I showered up and started in on a little homework. and after I was done I turned on the TV and nothing was on. Now being that I was 16 at the time and there was nothing to do and I was a ball of hormones anyway I decided to do what any 16 year old boy in my situation would do. You guess it, I decided to SNAP ONE OFF. I hope you all know the euphemism I'm referring to. And if you don't you are probably way to young to be reading this blog.
Now this was somewhere around the time of dial-up internet and my house just barely had a computer. And laptops where completely out of the question for my family. So good old internet porn on the hundreds of free porn sites that are around today was completely out of the question. Now what was in the question were the dvds that were floating around. I really do miss the old days of porn on a dvd. But anyway, I threw on one of my favorite dvds turned the TV down to as low as it could go where I could still hear things every once in a while like, "spank me" and things of that nature, but not so loud that it would draw attention to my room. There is a fine line that you have to walk when you are a 16 year old boy living with your father watching porn. And let me just say that I had it down to a science. Or so I thought.
Because the next thing you know I'm mid SNAP and my door is swinging open and it's my father announcing dinner. Now let me just say there has never been a single moment in my life more embarrassing than that moment right there. Me a 16 year old boy with my dick in my hands, and porn on the TV. My father busting in and seeing what's happening and rushing out, while I try to cover myself up. Just thinking about it now has me laughing embarrassingly at my computer. I remember staying in my room for a good hour before I came out to get my dinner. And I didn't look up at all, I grabbed my food that was cold took it directly to my room and shoveled it into my mouth and sat there for another two hours waiting for my father to go to bed before I left my room to put my plate away. And I'll be damned if he didn't stay up extra late that night. And all I could think about that night was, why in the hell did my door not have a lock on it?
For the next week me and my father didn't say but two words to each other. Neither one of us knew what to say. I didn't think I would ever live it down, and I can only imagine what he thought about it. And then out of nowhere I'm sitting in my room on a Saturday afternoon and there is a knock on my door. and in walks my father, and he has with him one of those large "know yourself and your changing body" teen puberty books. and we have what I can only assume is the sex talk. I'm not exactly sure what all was said but when it was all done I had a book full of different nicknames for male and female genitalia and a list with pictures with all sorts of sexually transmitted diseases. And to this day me and my father never mention a word about either one of these days. The only thing that I really know is that it was by far the single most embarrassing moment of my life.
Now I've told you these stories to prove a point. Well maybe I've told you these stories because I think they are entertaining. Seriously there is a point to all of this. I think to often in life people are afraid to do the things they want to do because they are afraid of being embarrassed. I know that I have been guilty of that. Even with all the embarrassing things that I have done. And I wanted to tell you these stories to let you all out there know that embarrassment is just a part of life. I mean if you are someone like me then it is a big part of your life. But in the long run it really just doesn't matter. It's another story to tell at a party, and it doesn't kill you. Wear your embarrassments like a bandage of honor, I'm telling you that's what I do and it really just makes a world of difference. Anyway, if you've gotten nothing from this I hope at least you have enjoyed the stories.
Thanks Alyssa
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Letter to my Friends
We are born into this world to people that we don't even know. And we grow up knowing that family is forever and we struggle to find our way in a unit that sometimes feels completely foreign to us. And if we are lucky we have mothers and fathers who are kind and loving and more superheroes than parents. And then we get siblings that hate us for a while even though they love us and somewhere down the line you grow into friends.
This is my story, and I believe this is the story of so many others out there reading this. It's not a good story or a bad story, just a story of some person's life. And it can be amazing and wonderful at times and then others it can be brutal and painful.
But then somewhere down the line, something happens to us all before we even really know it. We run into and find a group of people that become so special to us and at times even more important than our family. These people that I'm talking about are called FRIENDS. They are the people that tell you to pull up a chair in the cafeteria when you are scared and feeling out of place in a new school. They are the people that have stood beside you in the freezing cold while you're getting yelled out by your baseball coach and told you aren't even good enough to use the locker room. They are the ones that watch sneak out to watch you get yelled at by your coach. They are the ones that ask you to be in their weddings. They are the ones who stay up with you until 4:30 in the morning joking with you about the fact that you weren't smart enough to go to Pleasant Hill in grade school, and they are the ones that allow you to make a ridiculous deal about Black History Month and indulge your craziness over it.
And if you're lucky like I am this group of people that you call friends is really more like family and you know that you would do anything for them and that they would do anything for you. Life seems to be moving at such an alarming speed these days that sometimes I think that we all don't stop to realize the important things. We get caught up wanting so many different things and trying so hard to pursue all those things that we want that we fail to appreciate all the important things in our lives that we have. I believe I made that mistake once. I feel like I lost two years of my life worried about all the things I didn't have and all the expectations I wasn't living up to that I wasn't as appreciative of all those right there in front of me. I will never let that happen to me again.
Now this last month if any of you all were paying attention to the craziness that is my facebook profile you might have noticed that I was holding a Black History Contest with my friends. And if any of you out there have been offended by it then let me just take the moment to apologize. Let me also take them moment to say that it really wasn't for you. And I guess furthermore it wasn't for me. Don't be offended by the way that we celebrated it, instead be offended that there is one month out of the year taken to celebrate black people. Because as a black person I want to say that I celebrate us every month of the year.
This contest was about me and that special group of people that I call FRIENDS. I know this may song ridiculous to some people but I like to us it as a fun way to bring us closer together. Because the older we get, the more things begin to change, and the harder it is for us all to be together. Life has a funny way of pulling you apart from the things, and it's not in a bad way at all. We just grow up and we have kids, and jobs, and mortgages, and all other kinds of responsibilities and before you know it you lose touch. But not me, and not my FRIENDS. Because I don't mind taking a little heat about a contest if it means that every year for one month at least it brings my FRIENDS closer together. And that they will get together for one day and fellowship and have a good time.
I know how incredibly lucky that I am. To be honest with you I wake up everyday wondering how in fact I got so lucky. Whatever I did in my life to deserve it all I'll take it. And for those out there that I call FRIEND I really want you to know that it's not something that I take lightly and I'll never stop working to be a better one. I love you all very much and I just wanted you to know that and this entire is only the beginning.
This is my story, and I believe this is the story of so many others out there reading this. It's not a good story or a bad story, just a story of some person's life. And it can be amazing and wonderful at times and then others it can be brutal and painful.
But then somewhere down the line, something happens to us all before we even really know it. We run into and find a group of people that become so special to us and at times even more important than our family. These people that I'm talking about are called FRIENDS. They are the people that tell you to pull up a chair in the cafeteria when you are scared and feeling out of place in a new school. They are the people that have stood beside you in the freezing cold while you're getting yelled out by your baseball coach and told you aren't even good enough to use the locker room. They are the ones that watch sneak out to watch you get yelled at by your coach. They are the ones that ask you to be in their weddings. They are the ones who stay up with you until 4:30 in the morning joking with you about the fact that you weren't smart enough to go to Pleasant Hill in grade school, and they are the ones that allow you to make a ridiculous deal about Black History Month and indulge your craziness over it.
And if you're lucky like I am this group of people that you call friends is really more like family and you know that you would do anything for them and that they would do anything for you. Life seems to be moving at such an alarming speed these days that sometimes I think that we all don't stop to realize the important things. We get caught up wanting so many different things and trying so hard to pursue all those things that we want that we fail to appreciate all the important things in our lives that we have. I believe I made that mistake once. I feel like I lost two years of my life worried about all the things I didn't have and all the expectations I wasn't living up to that I wasn't as appreciative of all those right there in front of me. I will never let that happen to me again.
Now this last month if any of you all were paying attention to the craziness that is my facebook profile you might have noticed that I was holding a Black History Contest with my friends. And if any of you out there have been offended by it then let me just take the moment to apologize. Let me also take them moment to say that it really wasn't for you. And I guess furthermore it wasn't for me. Don't be offended by the way that we celebrated it, instead be offended that there is one month out of the year taken to celebrate black people. Because as a black person I want to say that I celebrate us every month of the year.
This contest was about me and that special group of people that I call FRIENDS. I know this may song ridiculous to some people but I like to us it as a fun way to bring us closer together. Because the older we get, the more things begin to change, and the harder it is for us all to be together. Life has a funny way of pulling you apart from the things, and it's not in a bad way at all. We just grow up and we have kids, and jobs, and mortgages, and all other kinds of responsibilities and before you know it you lose touch. But not me, and not my FRIENDS. Because I don't mind taking a little heat about a contest if it means that every year for one month at least it brings my FRIENDS closer together. And that they will get together for one day and fellowship and have a good time.
I know how incredibly lucky that I am. To be honest with you I wake up everyday wondering how in fact I got so lucky. Whatever I did in my life to deserve it all I'll take it. And for those out there that I call FRIEND I really want you to know that it's not something that I take lightly and I'll never stop working to be a better one. I love you all very much and I just wanted you to know that and this entire is only the beginning.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Top Ten List 2014 Part 3
Hello Ladies and Sirs, it is me again. Here to add upon my Top Ten List of 2014. Now the movie that I am adding was a movie that I really really wanted to see, but it didn't come out until December 31st I think and that was just limited. It opened everywhere I think maybe last weekend. But yesterday I finally got a chance to go see it and I thought that there was just know way I would feel right about my list if I did not get back on here and let you all know about it. But before I get into all of that I just have one thing to say, which will definitely be followed by more things. The OSCARS are a 100% complete joke! I've been bucking against saying this for quite some time now but this year has finally put me over the edge. The fact the this movie is nominated for NOTHING this year is dumb. And that is the simplest way that I can put it. I might actually not watch the damn thing this year.... I take that back. I'm pretty sure we all knew that was a lie. (Damnitt Brandon, why must you be so in love with the pageantry and all of the winners in life getting together for a night to pat themselves on the back and give each other awards that is the Oscars?) Anyway, without future ado I give you my final entry in the Top Ten List of 2014.
1B. A MOST VIOLENT YEAR
I went to the movies last night and saw this one, and let me just say that I was completely blown away. And to be honest with you I really did not expect that from this movie. Now I had wanted to see this one for a long time, but it almost made it out of the movies without me going to see it. What a huge mistake and tragedy that would have been for me. If there was a finer, well written, well directed, well acted, better looking movie that came out in 2014 I promise you I did not see it. And this is coming from someone who will admit that BOYHOOD pretty much changed my life this year. The movie is set in New York City in 1981 and sees Oscar Issac's character Abel the owner of an up and coming heating oil company deal with the shadiness of his business industry and his competitors during what was one of the most violent years in the city's history. First I should talk about J.C. Chandor who before writing and directing this movie did Margin Call and All is Lost. You might want to remember this guys name, because he is going to be around for a while folks. All he does is go out and make fantastic movies. I have already seen Margin Call and after seeing this All is Lost will be playing on my neflix instant tonight. Next I should talk about Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain. These are without a doubt in my mind two of the best working actors today. I have loved Oscar Isaac since the movie 10 Years (if you haven't seen it check it out folks. a great 10 year reunion movie. Dare I say the best.) And I absolutely think he was robbed not getting a nomination for Inside Llewyn Davis and it seems the hits keep coming getting snubbed again this year. And Jessica Chastain though. As great as Isaac is I kind of think she steals the show here as the daughter of a former gangster and the strong wife to Isaac's honest businessman character. In a year where the categories for women were pretty weak Chastain has to be thinking what do I have to do to get nominated or win one of those fucking statues. I think her time is coming soon because all she does is continue to mesmerize on screen. Don't believe me, watch The Help, Take Shelter, Zero Dark Thirty, or The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby. Lastly, this movie is just wonderfully shot. It's so beautiful watching these scenes play out. There is a chase scene that is so damn tense you will be on the edge of your seat. I know that I'm going on and on about this movie, but that is because the Academy did not and I feel like people out there have to know about this one. The fact that this movie wasn't nominated for a thing is something of a Greek Tragedy. Anyway if you have a chance out there to go check it out i would highly recommend it.
1B. A MOST VIOLENT YEAR
I went to the movies last night and saw this one, and let me just say that I was completely blown away. And to be honest with you I really did not expect that from this movie. Now I had wanted to see this one for a long time, but it almost made it out of the movies without me going to see it. What a huge mistake and tragedy that would have been for me. If there was a finer, well written, well directed, well acted, better looking movie that came out in 2014 I promise you I did not see it. And this is coming from someone who will admit that BOYHOOD pretty much changed my life this year. The movie is set in New York City in 1981 and sees Oscar Issac's character Abel the owner of an up and coming heating oil company deal with the shadiness of his business industry and his competitors during what was one of the most violent years in the city's history. First I should talk about J.C. Chandor who before writing and directing this movie did Margin Call and All is Lost. You might want to remember this guys name, because he is going to be around for a while folks. All he does is go out and make fantastic movies. I have already seen Margin Call and after seeing this All is Lost will be playing on my neflix instant tonight. Next I should talk about Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain. These are without a doubt in my mind two of the best working actors today. I have loved Oscar Isaac since the movie 10 Years (if you haven't seen it check it out folks. a great 10 year reunion movie. Dare I say the best.) And I absolutely think he was robbed not getting a nomination for Inside Llewyn Davis and it seems the hits keep coming getting snubbed again this year. And Jessica Chastain though. As great as Isaac is I kind of think she steals the show here as the daughter of a former gangster and the strong wife to Isaac's honest businessman character. In a year where the categories for women were pretty weak Chastain has to be thinking what do I have to do to get nominated or win one of those fucking statues. I think her time is coming soon because all she does is continue to mesmerize on screen. Don't believe me, watch The Help, Take Shelter, Zero Dark Thirty, or The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby. Lastly, this movie is just wonderfully shot. It's so beautiful watching these scenes play out. There is a chase scene that is so damn tense you will be on the edge of your seat. I know that I'm going on and on about this movie, but that is because the Academy did not and I feel like people out there have to know about this one. The fact that this movie wasn't nominated for a thing is something of a Greek Tragedy. Anyway if you have a chance out there to go check it out i would highly recommend it.
Friday, January 30, 2015
Top 10 List 2014 Part 2
I figured I better split this thing up into two separate posts otherwise you all might get a little bored of my long winded takes of what I think about all these wonderful movies. So without further ado I give you my top 5 of this year. And if you don't agree with this please let me know. You aren't going to change my mind, but I welcome the conversation.
1. BOYHOOD
This movie was a doozy for me. Going into this year this movie was by far my most anticipated movie of the year. So much so that I know those closet to me were probably counting down the days until I saw it so I would shut up about it. I have been on record many times saying that Richard Linklater is my favorite working filmmaker. And this movie really and truly just cemented that statement. When I even begin to try and talk about this movie I almost start to come unglued I get so emotional. This wasn't just my favorite movie this year, it is probably my favorite movie in the last 5 years. There has been no single movie that I can think of in recent history that struck me right to the core like this movie did. The big thing about this movie was the fact that it was filmed over the period of the last 12 years. Using all the same actors so that when you are watching this movie about the passage of time, you are actually watching the passage of time. There is no movie magic here folks. And really when you think about that it is pretty special. But if that were not the case, this movie would still be undeniable. The writing and the acting in this movie is a sight to see. This story of a boy growing up in Texas after his parents divorce at an early age is something that I feel is ripped right out of my own life. I've never been more connected to a movie honestly, and I watch a lot of movies. There were all of these quiet scenes in this movie that when they played out I lost it in the theater because what was being portrayed on screen so closely resembled the life that I have lead that I couldn't believe it. I felt as though Richard Linklater had written this script using only the inner thoughts of my mind and memories of life through my perspective. It is so amazing and important to me that in the age of blockbusters and marvel movies that a movie like this can be made and be such a big success. The acting in this movie is just fantastic. From the lead character Ellar Coltrane who plays mason to Lorelei Linklater playing his sister Samantha to Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette playing the Mom and Dad characters in this movie. I absolutely love loved Ethan Hawke's performance but in a year where best supporting actor category is loaded I'm afraid he will not be walking away with an Oscar. I an still here is character saying, "you don't want the bumpers, life doesn't give you bumpers." While they are out bowling. Patricia Arquette was an absolute force to be reckoned with in this movie playing the matriarch of the family and having so many ups and downs to go through. Trying to find herself while also trying to raise and provide for her family. I just can't even write enough about how much I love this movie. And the song "Hero" by Family of the Year is the most heartbreakingly beautiful song that I have ever heard in my entire life. It is definitely one of the title tracks of this part of my life. I just want every person that I know and love to go out and see this movie. I want everyone period to see this movie. Believe me it is worth it.
So there it is folks. My Top 10 List of 2014. If you've stayed with me long enough to read through all of this I really hope that you have enjoyed it. Because I have enjoyed writing it. And now bring on 2015. I can't wait to sink my teeth into all the good stuff that is coming this way. This is going to be the year of the Blockbuster y'all. And we are getting a new STAR WARS movie. I could not be more excited for this year in movies. Before I go i just wanted to show some love to a few more movies that honestly I wanted to put on this list but just ran out of room.
1. THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
Wes Anderson just refuses to ever make a bad movie, so I refuse not to go and see anything he makes.
2. TOP FIVE
Chris Rock is back and funnier than ever. One of the funniest romantic comedies I have ever seen.
3. WILD
Reese Witherspoon is spectacular in this one. And I'm a sucker for people that take a spiritual journey through nature.
4. ST. VINCENT
I dare any of you to go to this movie and not feel good when it's over. Bill Murray just thank you.
5. THE GAMBLER
What if I was to tell you I wasn't a gambler? Don't think I've ever had this much fun watching a gambling movie.
6. DEAR WHITE PEOPLE
This is a movie for my generation and the generation of millennials living right now. What a wonderful portrait of race and race relations right now.
7. ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE
Now this my friends is a vampire movie I can get on board with. Oh my god so freaking cool.
5. BIRDMAN
With the exception of Boyhood this year I think that this movie was the one that I was most excited to see. And let me just say right here and now that it did not disappoint. Where should I even begin with this movie? Well for starters let me just start off with the score. A score that was really was just so awesome and powerful to me. The drums in this score can only be described as sick. There is a scene when Keaton's character is walking from the stage back to his dressing room and the score is kicking up and I just believe it is one of the most bad ass shots I've seen in a movie this year. I'm not even going to talk about the incredibly long takes because so many people have already done that for me. But just know that it is a sight to see. And anyone who knows and loves movies knows just how difficult something like this is. It is beautiful to see. I saved the best for last and that would have to be the acting in this movie. There is not a single weak character in the entire movie. I especially want to note that Emma Stone who I have always loved really kills it in this role after doing some kind of subpar movies for a bit. Edward Norton is Edward Norton, and I just wonder if this guy will ever not show up and crush whatever movie that he is in? But the star of the show is without a doubt Michael Keaton who is playing the title character. He just shows such incredible range and depth that not just any actor can do. He is phenomenal in this movie which already has so many great performances. Oh my god when he gets locked out of the theater I just lost my shit. He is and will always be to me the one true BATMAN.
4. WHIPLASH
This movie I'll tell you did a number on me. Before going to watch it I had heard that Miles Teller and J.K. Simmons were amazing in it and believe me they both were. But I did not think that I would have such a connection with a movie about a jazz orchestra as I did. From the moment that J.K. Simmons character appears on screen giving warm encouragement of just have fun and then instantly spitting out venom all over these kids and ruling the orchestra by pure fear I was transported back to being 18 years old and playing baseball at Seminole State. Where a coach who could seem like the loveliest guy in the world one minute would make it his life's goal to bring you to tears the next. I am telling you that it is amazing to see these two actors play off of one another. J.K. Simmons is almost a lock to win best supporting actor for his performance in this movie. And for what my opinion is worth I'll say that Miles Teller is one of the best young actors out there working today. I do think there is an interesting notion in this movie in what it takes to be truly great at something. It is not something that everyone has in themselves and on the outside looking in, it might seem crazy to do some of the things that Teller's character does. People that get to the very top of whatever field, sacrifice a lot to get there. In one of the best scenes in the movie Simmons's character is talking about how Charlie Parker got his nickname, and he goes through this speech and at the end of it all he says, "there are no two harmful words in the English language that good job." I swear to you it is a crazy thing seeing that on the screen when you've lived through a coach that feels the same way. And without giving anything away, I must say that the final scene of this movie is one of the best most satisfying scenes I've ever seen in a movie.
3. INHERENT VICE
I think for anyone out there that has been paying attention over the last decade will agree that Paul Thomas Anderson is by far one of the top filmmakers working today. And while he is a top filmmaker and all of his movies are fantastic I will say that some of them are hard watches. And by that I mean that they take everything out of you when you watch one of them and even with that there can be so much of it still left for interpretation. And a lot of the time they are not movies that you can go back right away and watch. They are movies that need to settle in and sometimes it might be a year before you get back to it. And while Inherent Vice is vintage P.T.A. I will say that as soon as this movie was over I found myself wanting to jump right back in and watch it all over again. I F-ing love this movie. It is one of the funniest movies I've seen this year. It made me want to be dropped right into LA in the 70's and hang out with some of these characters. Joaquin Phoenix playing the role of Doc is just fantastic. I use to hate Phoenix because his role in To Die For creeped me out so much. But I have been on record lately saying that I believe that he is the greatest working actor right now. I almost feel that there is no role this guy can't tackle. And as a stoner private eye navigating through the seedy world of LA in the 70's he is unbelievable. And let me say that Josh Brolin desires equal praise in this movie. He two is a fantastic actor that is doing some really great work right now. There is a scene between Doc and his ex Shasta played by Katherine Waterston that I think it about 8 minutes long without a cut and for my money the only other scene hotter than that one this year would be the scene where Rosemund Pike slits Neil Patrick Harris's throat while having sex in Gone Girl. Go into this movie and just enjoy the ride, and if you can smoke a J before you go. And just try not to get wrapped up by the lovable Doc and his misadventures.
2. SELMA
Has there been a more powerful movie this year? I do not believe so. Has there been a better acted or better directed movie this year? I do not believe so. I guess I just want to start this by saying that it is a goddamn tragedy that this movie was basically only nominated for best picture and best song. I defy anyone to tell me an actor that did a better job not only playing a character, but playing a generation defining character than David Oyelowo did playing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I promise you that you won't find it. He was amazing in this movie, as were so many others. Carmen Ejojo who played Corretta Scott King is amazing in this movie. And how for the life of me in a year where the best supporting actress category was very weak did she not get a nomination is beyond me. And oh my god can Tim Roth play a bad guy like nobody's business. I don't know if there is a more relevant movie out there than this one, especially with the recent events that have been going on in this country. This is an unbelievably powerful movie about a very unfortunate time in this country. Really a black eye if you ask me. And the men and women both black and white that came together and stood up for the rights of people. For the equal rights of all people. That is a powerful sentence and it is such a powerful message that this movie delivers. There are scenes in this movie that are so beautiful shot and so quietly done but they are louder than you could ever imagine that even now when I write about them I start to tear up. And the scene on the bridge when the cops stop the marchers and gas them and beat these unarmed people senseless is one of the most heartbreaking scenes you'll ever see in a movie. And the fact that this not only played out in real life but also played out on Television for everyone in the country to see, well it's almost unbearable. This is a movie that everyone out there has to go and see. This is a movie that will bring out the best in all of us.
1. BOYHOOD
This movie was a doozy for me. Going into this year this movie was by far my most anticipated movie of the year. So much so that I know those closet to me were probably counting down the days until I saw it so I would shut up about it. I have been on record many times saying that Richard Linklater is my favorite working filmmaker. And this movie really and truly just cemented that statement. When I even begin to try and talk about this movie I almost start to come unglued I get so emotional. This wasn't just my favorite movie this year, it is probably my favorite movie in the last 5 years. There has been no single movie that I can think of in recent history that struck me right to the core like this movie did. The big thing about this movie was the fact that it was filmed over the period of the last 12 years. Using all the same actors so that when you are watching this movie about the passage of time, you are actually watching the passage of time. There is no movie magic here folks. And really when you think about that it is pretty special. But if that were not the case, this movie would still be undeniable. The writing and the acting in this movie is a sight to see. This story of a boy growing up in Texas after his parents divorce at an early age is something that I feel is ripped right out of my own life. I've never been more connected to a movie honestly, and I watch a lot of movies. There were all of these quiet scenes in this movie that when they played out I lost it in the theater because what was being portrayed on screen so closely resembled the life that I have lead that I couldn't believe it. I felt as though Richard Linklater had written this script using only the inner thoughts of my mind and memories of life through my perspective. It is so amazing and important to me that in the age of blockbusters and marvel movies that a movie like this can be made and be such a big success. The acting in this movie is just fantastic. From the lead character Ellar Coltrane who plays mason to Lorelei Linklater playing his sister Samantha to Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette playing the Mom and Dad characters in this movie. I absolutely love loved Ethan Hawke's performance but in a year where best supporting actor category is loaded I'm afraid he will not be walking away with an Oscar. I an still here is character saying, "you don't want the bumpers, life doesn't give you bumpers." While they are out bowling. Patricia Arquette was an absolute force to be reckoned with in this movie playing the matriarch of the family and having so many ups and downs to go through. Trying to find herself while also trying to raise and provide for her family. I just can't even write enough about how much I love this movie. And the song "Hero" by Family of the Year is the most heartbreakingly beautiful song that I have ever heard in my entire life. It is definitely one of the title tracks of this part of my life. I just want every person that I know and love to go out and see this movie. I want everyone period to see this movie. Believe me it is worth it.
So there it is folks. My Top 10 List of 2014. If you've stayed with me long enough to read through all of this I really hope that you have enjoyed it. Because I have enjoyed writing it. And now bring on 2015. I can't wait to sink my teeth into all the good stuff that is coming this way. This is going to be the year of the Blockbuster y'all. And we are getting a new STAR WARS movie. I could not be more excited for this year in movies. Before I go i just wanted to show some love to a few more movies that honestly I wanted to put on this list but just ran out of room.
1. THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL
Wes Anderson just refuses to ever make a bad movie, so I refuse not to go and see anything he makes.
2. TOP FIVE
Chris Rock is back and funnier than ever. One of the funniest romantic comedies I have ever seen.
3. WILD
Reese Witherspoon is spectacular in this one. And I'm a sucker for people that take a spiritual journey through nature.
4. ST. VINCENT
I dare any of you to go to this movie and not feel good when it's over. Bill Murray just thank you.
5. THE GAMBLER
What if I was to tell you I wasn't a gambler? Don't think I've ever had this much fun watching a gambling movie.
6. DEAR WHITE PEOPLE
This is a movie for my generation and the generation of millennials living right now. What a wonderful portrait of race and race relations right now.
7. ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE
Now this my friends is a vampire movie I can get on board with. Oh my god so freaking cool.
Top 10 List of 2014 Part 1
Well Ladies and Sirs I think you've all waited long enough. It's that time of the year that I know you have all been waiting for. It's time for my Top 10 List of 2014. I know what you are thinking right now, and before you even finish that thought allow me to tell you to shut up. Because if you didn't know this my year goes from Oscars to Oscars. Much like the TV networks year starts in August and ends in May. Oh and here is another twist on my Top 10 List it's really 13 movies and you know what I don't care because I couldn't just stop at 10. So here goes nothing.
10D. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY
If I'm being honest here this movie is probably the reason that I needed to go to 13. Because I just couldn't bump anything out of my top 10 and I just wanted to badly to put this movie in. This is definitely one of the best rides I went on in a movie this year. I hope so badly that these people exists in our galaxy. The comedic timing between Rocket, Groot, and Drax the Destroyer are worth the price of admission alone. Let me also say that I think that Chris Pratt becoming a superstar has been a long time coming. I remember him way back when he was in The O.C. and I loved him then. And if you don't like Andy from Parks and Rec you are just wrong. Who out there doesn't want to see a group of misfits become heroes? I also Challenge anyone to watch this movie and not immediately want to buy the soundtrack.
10C. OBVIOUS CHILD
I saw this movie quite a bit ago in the early summer of 2014 if I'm not mistaken and it is a movie that has been with me ever since. I think it is a movie that just hits all the right notes. And after watching this movie and already seeing her has Mona-Lisa Ralphio on Parks and Rec I have to just say that the sky is the limit for this young actress. she is just an all around breath for fresh air. And really in a time when there just really isn't enough good roles for women I believe that this is one of the better ones of the year. Also touching on a topic that not to many people want to touch these days (abortion) but doing it in a way that feels very real and natural to the choices that people make every single day. I can't tell you how much I love this movie, and it got me hooked on Paul Simon so thank you for that.
10B. FURY
I'm really not sure if I've ever seen a war movie quite like this one. And while there are some that I like better such as Saving Private Ryan, Platoon, or even Glory for instance I still can't shake the haunting affect that this movie had on me. As Brad Pitt's Wardaddy leads a tank crew through Germany at the end of WWII you will be amazed. Pitt is amazing as always but the rest of the actors in this movie shine as well. Including Shia LeBeouf who I'm sure you've all thought has fallen off the face of the earth. Watching Logan Lerman's Character go from innocent to become a blunt instrument of war brings me back to my first year of college playing baseball at Seminole State. Which also made me want to call up all the gentlemen I played with at and around that time and let them all know, Playing ball with you, best job I ever had.
10A. BEGIN AGAIN
Sometimes a movie comes along at just the right time and it can remind you of how wonderfully optimistic life can be. And for me Begin Again is that movie. A movie about a songwriter and a music producer creating a wonderful album using the great city of New York as their inspiration and their almost romance. This movie just hits me on so many levels for starters the music in it is just amazing. for seconds Mark Ruffalo is my hero and the chemistry between him and Keira Knightley is just wonderful. And I have to say that Adam Levine playing a even doucheier version of himself is so damn funny to see. I think it's just a wonderful movie that will remind you that no matter how far you fall, it's never too late to Begin Again.
9. EDGE OF TOMORROW
I know that even as I write this one down there are so many of you Tom Cruise haters out there that can't even believe that this one made the list. Let me just say that your cynicism and dislike for Tome Cruise is causing you to miss out on some damn good movies. This being one of them. On the surface this movie is an Action/Sci-Fi movie but believe me it is so much more. Let me say that it is so much more because of how great an actor Tom Cruise is. I found myself cracking up so many times in this movie, a lot of that having to do with the wonderful Bill Paxton who steals the show. And it is action packed, but the drama of this movie is very hard hitting and so movie. Emily Blunt also shines, but really when doesn't she, and she is just wonderful opposite of Tom Cruise. I really just dare you to know like this movie.
8. CHEF
I'm not kidding when I say this, but this movie might just be the feel good movie of the year. It is actually between this movie and St. Vincent. I just love this movie on so many different levels. The first of course being that it is a father and son movie. If you know me at all, you know I'm a sucker for that because of how important my father is to me. Second, the food that they show in this movie is amazing. I just wanted more and more scenes of Jon Favreau's character just cooking great food. Then on top of all of that it is a road trip movie as well. It's almost as if the movie gods wrapped this one up in a bow and delivered it to me. This is just a really wonderful and funny movie. John Leguizamo is the perfect best friend character to Jon Favreau and there is this wacky hilarious scene with Robert Downey Jr. that makes me happier and happier every time I see this movie.
7. FOXCATCHER
Bennet Miller is becoming one of the most fascinating directors around if you ask me. He really just knocked it out of the park with Moneyball, no pun intended. And then he comes back with Foxcatcher and just blows me away. The performances by the three LEADS in this movie is amazing. I say that they are all leads because that is exactly what I believe. I think that you will be hard pressed to find three better performances in any movie let alone all in the same movie this year. Steve Carrell is almost unrecognizable as DuPont in this movie and his performance is chilling. I think that it is well documented my feelings about Mark Ruffalo and in this movie he once again he just blows my mind. And I want to take a minute to talk about Channing Tatum who was not nominated but just gives the best performance of his career. As he finds himself drawn in my Carrell's DuPont only to be thrown away when his brother Ruffalo shows up. The fact that this movie is a true story will blow your mind. Go see this movie right now.
6. NIGHTCRAWLER
Where do I even begin with this movie? I guess the only true way to start to talk about this film is to talk about what Jake Gyllenhaal and what a spectacular job he did in this film. I believe that this year Gyllenhaal not being nominated for his portrayal of a fringe character on the edge of society that will do anything to get ahead Lou Bloom was one of the biggest snubs of the Oscars. I came into this movie expecting to see a great performance from Gyllenhaal but what I saw was nothing that I could have ever expected and that is in the best possible way. I believe that this movie depicts a very harsh and what I believe a very true look on what living the "American Dream" can really mean in this country. I will venture to say that Lou Bloom isn't the only person in this country to do despicable things to get ahead. And for anyone living out here in LA you will get a special kick out of the movie because it is an LA movie to its very bones from the opening titles all the way to the end credits.
10D. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY
If I'm being honest here this movie is probably the reason that I needed to go to 13. Because I just couldn't bump anything out of my top 10 and I just wanted to badly to put this movie in. This is definitely one of the best rides I went on in a movie this year. I hope so badly that these people exists in our galaxy. The comedic timing between Rocket, Groot, and Drax the Destroyer are worth the price of admission alone. Let me also say that I think that Chris Pratt becoming a superstar has been a long time coming. I remember him way back when he was in The O.C. and I loved him then. And if you don't like Andy from Parks and Rec you are just wrong. Who out there doesn't want to see a group of misfits become heroes? I also Challenge anyone to watch this movie and not immediately want to buy the soundtrack.
10C. OBVIOUS CHILD
I saw this movie quite a bit ago in the early summer of 2014 if I'm not mistaken and it is a movie that has been with me ever since. I think it is a movie that just hits all the right notes. And after watching this movie and already seeing her has Mona-Lisa Ralphio on Parks and Rec I have to just say that the sky is the limit for this young actress. she is just an all around breath for fresh air. And really in a time when there just really isn't enough good roles for women I believe that this is one of the better ones of the year. Also touching on a topic that not to many people want to touch these days (abortion) but doing it in a way that feels very real and natural to the choices that people make every single day. I can't tell you how much I love this movie, and it got me hooked on Paul Simon so thank you for that.
10B. FURY
I'm really not sure if I've ever seen a war movie quite like this one. And while there are some that I like better such as Saving Private Ryan, Platoon, or even Glory for instance I still can't shake the haunting affect that this movie had on me. As Brad Pitt's Wardaddy leads a tank crew through Germany at the end of WWII you will be amazed. Pitt is amazing as always but the rest of the actors in this movie shine as well. Including Shia LeBeouf who I'm sure you've all thought has fallen off the face of the earth. Watching Logan Lerman's Character go from innocent to become a blunt instrument of war brings me back to my first year of college playing baseball at Seminole State. Which also made me want to call up all the gentlemen I played with at and around that time and let them all know, Playing ball with you, best job I ever had.
10A. BEGIN AGAIN
Sometimes a movie comes along at just the right time and it can remind you of how wonderfully optimistic life can be. And for me Begin Again is that movie. A movie about a songwriter and a music producer creating a wonderful album using the great city of New York as their inspiration and their almost romance. This movie just hits me on so many levels for starters the music in it is just amazing. for seconds Mark Ruffalo is my hero and the chemistry between him and Keira Knightley is just wonderful. And I have to say that Adam Levine playing a even doucheier version of himself is so damn funny to see. I think it's just a wonderful movie that will remind you that no matter how far you fall, it's never too late to Begin Again.
9. EDGE OF TOMORROW
I know that even as I write this one down there are so many of you Tom Cruise haters out there that can't even believe that this one made the list. Let me just say that your cynicism and dislike for Tome Cruise is causing you to miss out on some damn good movies. This being one of them. On the surface this movie is an Action/Sci-Fi movie but believe me it is so much more. Let me say that it is so much more because of how great an actor Tom Cruise is. I found myself cracking up so many times in this movie, a lot of that having to do with the wonderful Bill Paxton who steals the show. And it is action packed, but the drama of this movie is very hard hitting and so movie. Emily Blunt also shines, but really when doesn't she, and she is just wonderful opposite of Tom Cruise. I really just dare you to know like this movie.
8. CHEF
I'm not kidding when I say this, but this movie might just be the feel good movie of the year. It is actually between this movie and St. Vincent. I just love this movie on so many different levels. The first of course being that it is a father and son movie. If you know me at all, you know I'm a sucker for that because of how important my father is to me. Second, the food that they show in this movie is amazing. I just wanted more and more scenes of Jon Favreau's character just cooking great food. Then on top of all of that it is a road trip movie as well. It's almost as if the movie gods wrapped this one up in a bow and delivered it to me. This is just a really wonderful and funny movie. John Leguizamo is the perfect best friend character to Jon Favreau and there is this wacky hilarious scene with Robert Downey Jr. that makes me happier and happier every time I see this movie.
7. FOXCATCHER
Bennet Miller is becoming one of the most fascinating directors around if you ask me. He really just knocked it out of the park with Moneyball, no pun intended. And then he comes back with Foxcatcher and just blows me away. The performances by the three LEADS in this movie is amazing. I say that they are all leads because that is exactly what I believe. I think that you will be hard pressed to find three better performances in any movie let alone all in the same movie this year. Steve Carrell is almost unrecognizable as DuPont in this movie and his performance is chilling. I think that it is well documented my feelings about Mark Ruffalo and in this movie he once again he just blows my mind. And I want to take a minute to talk about Channing Tatum who was not nominated but just gives the best performance of his career. As he finds himself drawn in my Carrell's DuPont only to be thrown away when his brother Ruffalo shows up. The fact that this movie is a true story will blow your mind. Go see this movie right now.
6. NIGHTCRAWLER
Where do I even begin with this movie? I guess the only true way to start to talk about this film is to talk about what Jake Gyllenhaal and what a spectacular job he did in this film. I believe that this year Gyllenhaal not being nominated for his portrayal of a fringe character on the edge of society that will do anything to get ahead Lou Bloom was one of the biggest snubs of the Oscars. I came into this movie expecting to see a great performance from Gyllenhaal but what I saw was nothing that I could have ever expected and that is in the best possible way. I believe that this movie depicts a very harsh and what I believe a very true look on what living the "American Dream" can really mean in this country. I will venture to say that Lou Bloom isn't the only person in this country to do despicable things to get ahead. And for anyone living out here in LA you will get a special kick out of the movie because it is an LA movie to its very bones from the opening titles all the way to the end credits.
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